Young Adult / Secrets (Analysis)


Chapter one


Living has become no longer bearable; everyday is the same over and over. endless nights of pain and loneliness. The evenings have begun to run together. I am two hundred years old as of today, but I do not look a day over seventeen.
Another birthday another year.
I have decided that this will be the last birthday for me. I no longer wish to live this "life" if that's what you want to call it. I am an immortal doomed to walk the earth for all of eternity.
Salena is sitting in her room staring up at the ceiling. The painted mural of angles touching fingers was a play on how she really felt about life. There weren’t any angels out there protecting the innocents she knew that.
The four post bed she lay upon is adorned with crystals on each pillar. The candle light danced off the walls in a slow rhythmic movement creating prisms of light all the colors of the rainbow.
She cuddled a pillow under her chin breathing in deeply she took in the olden scent that enveloped the pillow. The smell of rose water touched ever nerve ending sending her mind racing over times that have passed.
She had a picture in her hand of her mother. The picture was set in France and her mother stood in front of their house wearing the same necklace that Salena wore now upon her neck. Touching the jewel turning it this way and that she saw the golden emblem of the stag trapped inside of the crimson jewel it was a rich blood colored ruby it reminded Salena of her need for other’s life blood.
The smile on her mother’s face was a smile of a woman in love, endearing the person taking the picture. Her mother’s eyes glowed vibrant yet smoldering with jade like hidden stones peaking beneath a brook. Salena never knew her mother or father. She only knew that her father was a vampire who fell in love with the wrong person and was killed for it.
Salena was born into this life she never had a choice. But now she decided to take her life. Salena has been living with a coven for 100 years. Over the years the covenant has become her family.
She stood and walked to her dresser. It was covered with aged trinkets filled with memories. She liked to collect things that reminded her of the years that went past; it’s how she kept her decades in line.
She put the picture in to a tattered scarlet journal. She ran your hand along the binding where the raised lettering gently pressed against her slender fingers. On the front was her mother’s name embroidered in thick golden lettering “Vivian” she ran her fingers over the name caressing every letter.
With a sigh she walked downstairs, her breath never felt so heavy on her chest. Telling her family what she wanted to do was going to be the hardest thing she had to do in her two hundred years of death. The news of her “departure” would surely devastate them.
As she walked down the stairs she passed photos in the hallway. They were of the coven members with their families prior to the change. She looked at the photos one last time. Lana with her baby in her arms as happy as a newly made mother could be. Bruce was with his wife and son sitting on a picnic blanket eating the day’s lunch. Lance was pushing Jamie on a swing in front of their home on the countryside. Everyone had a place on the wall except Cameron he was left to his own devices.
Tearing her attention away from the old photos she proceeded down the stairs to her waiting family. If her heart were beating she was sure it would have bound out of her chest. The woman that she calls mother was sitting on the couch running her pale slender hands through her daughter’s curly auburn hair. Lana was beautiful long thick blond tresses of hair framed her face beautifully. Her brilliant sapphire eyes always had a calming effect on who ever she laid them upon.
Lana is the mother I never had she gave me what my aunt never could and that was understanding.
Salena’s aunt died at the old age of eighty. She never could get over the fact that Salena was half vampire. She never embraced Salena because of her nature.
Will Lana understand the decision I have made?
Since Salena never knew her father when she met Bruce, Lana’s mate, he became her father and her protector. Bruce and Lana had two other children of the night when Salena joined their family, Jamie and Lance; they became Salena’s brother and sister.
The fifth member of the covenant was Salena’s fault. She met Cameron when she was visiting her homeland in France. He was a newly made vampire that was left helpless by his maker. Salena took him in like a lost puppy in need of someone to love. They were together almost 50 years until he turned into an incubus. He dove into the lifestyle head first taking any woman that crossed his path. Salena and Cameron have been brother and sister since his transformation.
The covenant’s home was an old abandoned plantation off the beaten path high up in the North Carolina hills. When they found the old house it was rundown. Sixty years of rot and corrosion filled the walls.
They created a sanctuary for themselves out of the ruin. From the outside it looks as if no one has touched it in a hundred years. It was the epitome of a haunted mansion; shutters hanging but one nail, a decrepit porch where the boards were warped due to water damage. The unsuspecting traveler would not know that it was occupied.
The home was simple because they lived simple lives. At night the house had a glow about it the plantation was nostalgic. The land on which the house sat spanned about five acres, and all five acres were covered in beautiful 100 year old pine trees. The trees must have grown in on top of where all the cotton fields used to be. There were small huts that lined a brook, these were the slave quarters.
The house was dark except for a few candles burning in the corners of the room and a fire roaring on the hearth. The fire lit the features of the room. The inside did not mirror the outside. Everything was silk and lace. Lana loved colors so every wall was a vibrant color depending on her mood for that day.
The living room walls were covered in a light powder blue. The room was always airy the furniture was covered with a white fabric with crosshatched needle stitching. It was as if Lana missed the day time and the walls were the sky and the furniture was the clouds.
Bruce was standing poised like a 15th century duke next to the fluffy white couch where Lana sat gracious as always.
As Salena ascended the stairs she noticed that Carmon and Lance were not in the room. They must be on the hunt. She walked over to the couch where Lana sat with Bruce and Jamie. Lana could always tell when something was bothering Salena; Lana always said she can read anyone’s soul just by looking in to their eyes. In Salena’s eyes Lana could only see, remorse and guilt.
“What’s the matter dear?” The heavy French accent always comforted Salena being that it was the language of her home.
“Lana, I--I am leaving.” Salena said dropping her head so she did not have to see Lana’s expression. Salena knew that one look into Lana’s eyes would stop her from going; it would keep her here in this home for another century.
“Are you unhappy Salena?” Lana reached out a hand her thin fingers grasped Salena’s pulling towards her. Salena knelt in front of Lana next to where Jamie sat in between Lana’s legs. Salena was careful not to look up at her mother.
“I don’t want this life anymore. I am a vampire not of my own volition. This life was not my choice. I believe that I have done “this”,” she gestured with a waving of hands. “For as long as I can.” Lana released Salena’s hands.
This is not the first time a vampire decided that they did not wish for the hunger anymore. Some vampires would walk out in to the sunlight and die in a burst of flames. Others choose a life of stone, where they are held in a statue forever.
“My love I understand I felt the same as you do before I met Bruce. He gave me something to look forward to every night.” Lana took Bruce’s hand in hers.
“I know but I am tired of waiting for something that will never happen. I have made up my mind I leave to night. I am sorry Lana but I have to do this or I might go insane. The thirst rules my life I don’t want to kill humans anymore.” Salena stood and backed away from the trio.
“This is your choice to make just know that you have a family here that loves you.” Salena saw the look on Lana’s face was one of pain at losing her daughter. Lana knew that if Salena chose not to feed she would die.
A turn of the knob, Lance and Cameron were back; with a young girl in tow. She was under a glamour she stood dazed in the middle of the room. Lana, Bruce, and Jamie never went out to hunt. The boys always brought the meal to them.
"We brought dinner." Cameron said with a smile on his face. Carmon let her free from the glamour spell. He loved the scared look on a humans face as he made his kill. He was truly the demon that humans were afraid, go bump in the night.
The girls reddish-brown hair was tussled her knees were scraped she looked as if she put up a fight. She wore a paisley dress with torn stockings. Her skin was pale but flushed red in fear.
She looked around the room at the hungry vampires. Piercing eyes were glowing by the fire light the golden irises bore into her. She felt like dinner should feel, scared. Her eyes mirrored those of a doe in the headlights.
"Please don't kill me. I--I" she was cut off. She stumbled back as she began to weep.
"Shh little lady it will be quick." Cameron said with a smile as he licked his fangs priming them for the treat. He pulled back his lips showing his razor-sharp teeth. Salena could see the pleasure on Cameron’s face as the girl tried to get away. She was flailing in his arms screaming for help that will never come. Cameron liked when the humans fight he thought it was better sport.
Everyone jumped on her at once, leaping through the air with growls and tearing at flesh. Well all except Salena. Salena’s stomach churned she forced herself to watch so that she can remember why she was leaving.
After they were done all eyes in the room turned to Salena.
“Not hungry Salena?” Carmon said through blood dripping from his chops. He made a quick swipe licking the rest of the blood from his lips.
Salena looked at the poor girl and growled under her breath. She was limp in his arms her skin was pale she will be dead soon. A moan slipped past the girls lips. It was pain and agony not pleasure. Salena walked to the door. Without turning around she left.
 

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oknapp avatar General Friend

September 08, 2009

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FrakKevin avatar General Stranger

September 07, 2009

FrakKevin

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
FrakKevin reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Ah vampire story…I’m not really going to heavily judge the plot. Your a good writer grammar wise and I liked this start. Maybe I currently feel bored with life like your main character. When the plot kick in…you really got to make this stand out from the other billions of vamp stories. So far you’re following that dark sad vampire road, but hopefully you spice things up right away. You got the details and writing skill down, but really put a lot into the plot.

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chantelisner

Age: 25
Loc: Jacksonville, FL
Gen: F
Last Login: September 11
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