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Poetry / The Girl with the Long Auburn Hair (Analysis)
The self-destructive beauty
With the long auburn hair,
Lies so luxuriously,
And entirely bare,
In her pigstie complex,
And her enclosing golden room
Of filthy and forgotten bliss
With no more pleasure to consume.
I often wondered what happend
To that girl with the auburn hair.
That night we spent together,
I felt wonder in the air.
We met in a happy ballroom.
She wore a blue silk dress
That clung to her hourglass figure,
My beauty of distress.
She came in a mellow, but determined pace,
And held my hand in a needy grip.
She said in my ear "Hey there handsome,
Looks like you could use a trip."
"Sure.", I said in an unsure voice.
I guess she could tell from my complextion,
That we shared a common interest,
The same loving fixation.
In her teal eyes, I could see
A woman who had been harmed.
She wore concealer on her arms
So no one could see her track marks.
She told me this was going to be it.
After that night, she would clean up,
And she told me how her vices
Had before slain her only love.
We called a taxi and went to her place,
And she showed me where she slept.
We shot up and later made love
Like I had never before dreamt.
We agreed, this was a one time thing,
And we would never see eachother again.
I was dissapointed, but I understood,
After all, that girl could easily land a better man.
Last week, I learned in a letter
From a friend who lives up north.
She was found dead about a month ago
And was buried in Niles, New York.
So many nights, I have laid awake,
Hoping I would once again see her,
And now I know, I must say goodbye
To that girl with the long auburn hair.
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heartofsnow06 reviewed Version 1 -
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very good it reminds us all to do our best not to lose contact with our loved ones.
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bleedingwithlove reviewed Version 1 -
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The best thing I can say about this is WOW. It was very attention grabbing, and formed a very clear picture of what was going on. Bravo!
KMThrift reviewed Version 1 -
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This was beautiful. It made me cry; I could feel the narrator’s pain of losing someone they cared about. Great job!
SkyeRayven reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like this work. However you have way to many ratings to go through..
The poem itself is great but I think it loses substance throughout when using quotes. I think if you interpreted them in different ways such as…”twisting words to lead a trip” or something similiar. Its a great storyline and I would consider even if you don’t write and actual story, right a sequel or even something that happened before this in poetry form.
Keep writing.
-Skye
Rose_Wolf reviewed Version 1 -
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Beautiful, really tugs on the heart strings. Its emotive, and easily conjures images in the readers mind.
Carabella reviewed Version 1 -
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I wish that the rhyming could be more precise. The beginning and end rhymed but the middle didn’t always.
That being said, I felt the sadness reading this and a sense of regret that an opportunity might have been missed as he realized he’d never see the auburn haired girl again. I hope you continue to share more.
theboss420 reviewed Version 1 -
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it allows me to feel for the woman and relate to her
on the same level
its really well written
marisabalderaz1 reviewed Version 1 -
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I dont know what type of suggestion or criticism you would want, I really liked it. Very heavy. Maybe that’s why I like it. LOL, keep up the good work. Nice job. Good Luck
moofish2 reviewed Version 1 -
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Very nice – a real talent
I hope to hear more from you soon
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