Haiku/Senryu / No kings

No kings in western culture

I see

hungry Bodhisattva

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August 04, 2009

Ch0ronzon

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
63	90.3% (31 votes)	27.5%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22	M	El Paso, TX	January 13

Ch0ronzon reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This Haiku immediately makes me ask a lot of questions: What do you mean by kings? Why is a Bodhisattva hungry? Is it because he’s here in the west?
Not just regular, superficial questions, but profound, deeply philosophical questions. BUT, this haiku is interesting to me…So…why is the Bodhisattva hungry, eh?

My understanding is that a Bodhisattva is an individual who has attained Buddhahood but, instead of moving on, prefers to stay back within the realm of “maya” and help others along their way. I love eastern philosophy so I like to see that you’ve included an element of it here.

Personally, I’m not a big fan of poetry that leaves TOO much open to interpretation, but I’d like to see what other people think.

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August 15, 2009

by halebop

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133	73.3% (15 votes)	20.4%

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51	M	United States	February 12

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Thank you, apologies for tardy response.Writing commitments,
preclude crit.at the moment,diminishing points for reviews.
”Kings” for me,(completely interpretive) are the truely en-
lightened.This immediately questions western or,Euro-based
civilizations,cultures,societies,religions,politics,etc. .Through
simple reasoning,us in the west find ourselves in the middle
of a maelstrom of malcontents making (in western terms)
the hunger for our Bodhisattva an inescapable reality. Stuck in the quagmire of the temporal.

August 18, 2009

by Ch0ronzon

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
63	90.3% (31 votes)	27.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22	M	El Paso, TX	January 13

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Oh great, you’re one of those people with great vocabularies…lol =). Thanks a lot buddy, now I’ve gotta look words up in the dictionary just to respond to you.

Okay, I can see where you’re coming from. Good concept. Now this is just me, but I DO feel obliged to give you some sort of suggestion and not just waste your time.

I don’t know what “quagmire” or “temporal” means, but you seem to be saying that we are hungering for our Bodhisattva. That being the case, perhaps you could change the line “hungry Bodhissatva?” Only because that gave me the impression that the Bodhisattca himself is the hungry one in this piece. That way you convey the proper message you’re trying get across.

August 18, 2009