Poetry / Lines on a Page

Lines on a page,
written by my hand,
do nothing but look pretty,
and sound pretty too.

Meaning is where you look for it,
words say what you want.
An empty carton for your sorrows
is best filled with flowers.

Be mine to entertain.
Be mine to show the way.
Be mine to enjoy.
Be mine so I can be yours.

Poems are as dust in wind:
thrown out to the world--
then swept away--
going places before settling.

I can write for love.
I can write for hate.
Humor comes, too,
and also tragedy.

What is structure but a cage?
Better to be free!
Write what comes,
don't worry over minor things.

The mind departs the text
just to see what's next;
in places people never go
only imagination dwells.

It doesn't have to make sense,
It doesn't have to rhyme,
It doesn't have to sound good,
or even be on time.

A poem is as poem does,
just that and nothing more.
Don't look too deep,
or you might drown.

Analize and synthesize.
Break apart and rearange.
Particles floating free,
only to collect in bins.

Lines are written.
Lines are lost.
Lines are followed,
and Lines are tossed.

Don't think too much,
if thats not hard.
Just let it flow--
and let it die.

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Reviews

July 25, 2009

shadowedxrain

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	81.1% (53 votes)	100.0%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22	F	Winona, MN	November 02

shadowedxrain reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

This certainly made me smile. There are still a few punctuational things to fix…for example, the last line of the first stanza should look as such: “and sound pretty, too.”

I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme in the stanza when you downplay rhyme, talk about poetic irony! The tone is still a little stiff, don’t be afraid to use exclamation points or question marks, they add a certain lilt to your tone and tempo.