Flash Fiction / Stillframe of Middle Age

i just wanted more physical description… moire of a sense of despair and loss…. keep writing!

Pretty freaking good imagery…I’m just 20 now and some time think about doing it over again…but I dont want to get that far up still wishing I lived life.

It makes people think, but not in the right way. There isn’t enough here. This is only a part of a story. It is possible to tell a full story in this few words, but  I don’t think you’ve managed it as it stands.

You’ve got plenty more space for flash, but it you want to keep it at this kind of length you’d have to think of giving it a bit more insight. We are left with to many questions. An open ending can sometimes be good, but not when we don’t know anything else. It depends on the word count you’re aiming for.

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July 26, 2009

by Anonymous

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Thanks for the suggestions, I was going for as few words as possible. I’ll be thinking about what I can add to it without losing the image I want.

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I think this piece is too vague to fit with the title. Sure, I see where you were going with it, but another sentence or two with a few more details might help. Such as, what can’t he go back to? His old office? His childhood? A happier time in his life? All of the above?