Lyrics / "Little Good Happens After Midnight"

Its alright. Lyrics go with music, right? What music do you hear when you wrote this. Do you sing along to it. I write songs and one thing you find is the words change to fit the feel of the music. Why not sit down with your guitar strum an E/A chords and see what happens.

Friend,
I may not be much of a songwriter but I have played in several bands in my short life and have written my share of the music. My suggestion is to pay a little bit more attention to syllable count, timing and vocabulary. Well, actually scratch the vocabulary part for this one. I was thinking of one of your other lyrics that I read where you used the word ‘aberration’. 4 syllable words don’t fit in so well with most music. Except for maybe rap. Also, maybe buy a metronome and sync your lyrics up with the metronome. If your trying to write a song you’ll have better luck if you attach some kind of chord change to it. It can be the most simplistic 3 chord progression in the world, but it will definitely help the flow of your words.

I found myself singing along to this one. Great stuff.

I enjoy the repetition of the title within the song, very nice. The overall feeling is a little dark yet hopeful. I think it could be focused a little more without losing its wonderful simplicity, although I know how hard it can be to change lyrics around once the song has progressed. I do feel though that the overall “message” of the song could be strengthened just a hair.

The first verse had a good sense of imagery. Though I like the idea of paint on a wall thing, I can’t really see where that metaphor came from, but if it makes sense to you, that’s all that counts, right? ;)

I would have to have a better idea of the tune to understand your rhyme scheme, it’s very simple and you’re obviously talented enough to incorporate more creative rhymes in the song. Internal, imperfect… but, again, I have no idea how you’d make it sound when there’s a better beat to it.

Not many who put life to the test
Survive the grind of midnight to five

This is my favorite chunk, no matter what kind of revising you ever choose to do, keep these two lines :-)

“I was made to live in the daylight” – We all were, some people just don’t know it

I liked the layout of the song itself, you managed to make it not very repetetive, I give you an 8/10.

Ambitious and nice.  I like it, for the most part.  Part of me wants to omit a couple of words, but if it works better as is, don’t touch it.

I like it!  I was really struck at your ability to rhyme so easily, it didn’t seem forced, the sentences were still able to flow and make sense.  The only lines that stuck out:  Cause the night was made to rest/ And a nice way to stay alive.  I’m not sure what it was about “And a nice way to stay alive”, it was just odd wording to me.  Other than that, good job!

i like this i just wish i had the melody in my head personally i would change all the I’s into you’s to make t more relate able

Nice lyrics, I don’t know though sometimes in songs lines don’t make sense to me.  ”As the night drips across the sky  Like black paint on a wall” didn’t really do anything for me… reads like bad imagery it was just words and didn’t affect me. Didn’t draw me in.

“As thugs with drugs come out by the score” come out by the score… what does that mean? I’m guessing they come out in bunches but I don’t know is that how to use the word?

I understand what you are trying to write but I had to work at it, and I had to force myself to read it. I just hope the singing is better than the lyrics because the imagery didn’t do it for me. None of this changed my mood or affected me as a reader… that’s what I look for in songs. It seems like you were forcing yourself to rhyme and you didn’t work at it or try to find something better to write.

I’d suggest a rewrite with more imagery, and better word choice. Maybe it doesn’t have to rhyme just flow better, I couldn’t get a good picture in my mind.

I have always thought as much.  What is there to do after mid-night?  Idle hands make the devils work.

You made a great point about ATMs and the stores being closed.  I like that line.  But I would change “Crowds gather” to “Lines form”.  They don’t crowd around the ATM, but form a line.  No one in their right mind is going to stop at an ATM with a bunch of thugs hanging around.

Take the s off of put and survive.

Your last four lines are your best as you give an attractive alternative to the night life.