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Poetry / Self escape (Analysis)
In Shackles I lay without a care, Out in the cold darkness I stare
Out in the field I know they dig my grave, Running from myself only to becaome a slave.
Trying desperataly to break from these chains, as I look up in torment at what my life reigns
I want to run so far but everytime I try they put up walls, The main obstacle is me standing there making me fall
A wikid old man haunts my dreams feeding my head with lies, This man is me trying to jerk tears from my eyes.
It feels as if I carry a 50 poind ball welded with locks, Cuffs and chains wrapping around me restraining my thoughts
I am the brightest darkness to hold the key, but no matter how many times it turns I still cannot be free
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I like your imagery. The reader really gets a feeling of desperateness. There are many types of bondage in this life, but no one can restrain your thoughts. Keep thinking them, you may hold the key to your chains. And, don’t forget to use spell check.
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This poem has tremendous rhythum and flow the words are true and reflect the writers pain one can imagine this being written from the heart and i am impressed with the structure of the poem,however i think the sentences maybe a little on the long side,try shortening them and retain the crux of the poetic words which do ebb and flow quite nicely overall.
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