Lyrics / "This Song's For You"

Very nice…written with true emotion.  You obviously loved and admired Michael Jackson to create this for him.  I think it is a lovely testimony to the contribution that his music had for the world.

Nice tribute. Why not include something about how he taught us to “heal the world” and that “it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white”? He was the King of Pop – he had great music, production AND good content! Most pop stars these days just sing about their relationship issues and how they don’t love their ex anymore. Boring! MJ has lyrics with substance. And that’s commendable.

I didn’t like the first 2 lines of the song because it’s far too vague. What about : “You gave us timeless songs / You taught us how to moonwalk” This is more specific to who MJ was and the listeners will immediately know who you’re talking about and can then relate to the song.

Last line of the bridge is a bit off – why not just “how you danced in all of our hearts”? (Also, he started singing in Jackson 5 aged 8, so technically it’s 42 years… And change it to- we’ll remember YOU beyond our tears.)

“Your life will live on?” This doesn’t make sense. His music, his legacy, yes. But not his life! Why not add something about Never Never land, too? And throw in a couple of “eeh hee!”’s and “shimo!”’s in there too, for good measure! Haha! Just kidding!

You’ve done a great job.  Although I’m not particularly a Jackson fan, I believe a part of us all did die that day…me living in LA and driving past his house almost everyday doesn’t help much.  You made an awesome tribute.

Mostly, I love how you used a lot of his best works (titles) within your own writing.  Beautiful :)

Hi Jim, what a nice tribute to Michael Jackson. I feel very sad with his passing. You’re right, his life will live on in his music. Your poem reflects the worlds sadness. I like how you incorporated his songs into the piece. My favorite of his songs was “Beat it” with Eddie Van Halen on the guitar.

Your dream will some true. You might change some to “come”. Outside of that a nice well thought piece. Good luck Jim. Sandi

I love it. My favorite part for sure is how you used his title of many hit songs as the lyrics. It’s brillant.

RIP MJ.

Kudos.

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September 06, 2009

by Nosferatu_Networker

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33	M	Elkin, NC	November 18

brilliant. its cheesy. im being honest.

September 07, 2009

by uhlexis

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no one asked you.

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I can just hear this being sung to a funky back beat.

mildly entertaining but I suppose it’s more of a personal thank you from the writer.
There are some witty and clever lines “thriller thrilled us all” “and how billy jean could beat it” funny, and amusing.
The point is made clearly but I feel the words chosen do not really connect with the reader’s.
If michael read this I’m sure he would enjoy it, but to effect a massive audience such as Michael’s fans it’s needs to open up and really touch michaels memories in a way that even those who do not enjoy michael can relate or feel some remorse.

“with your personal touch” that doesn’t tell the reader anything. Show don’t tell. What is michael’s personal touch. Show it.
Thank you for sharing your work.
Good luck to you.
With Respect.
-Daniel M

Not bad. Two things I noticed, though….

“We all felt the romance”- Here, you’ve crossed from touching sentimentality into over the top maudlinism.

Second, the recurring line of “This Song’s For You” sounds way too much like the old beer pitch line “This Bud’s For You”, which, to me, seems like it cound undercut the sentiment in the piece. Maybe you could rearrange the words to something like “For You I Sing This Song”.

Lyrics rhymed, didn’t match a bit all the way, but it was great XD I wonder what theme is has to it?

This is a nicely written and flowing tribute. Well done.