Novel Treatments / The Witch Diaries: Amanda Part One-Prologue AND Chapter One

Part One

“The forces that tend for evil are great and terrible, but the forces of truth and love and courage and honesty and generosity and sympathy are also stronger than ever before.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

-Albert Einstein

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.”

-Mae West

Prologue Of Amanda’s Story

My life was much simpler before now, before I was basically saving the world. Can you picture it, a seventeen year old girl saving the planet from ultimate destruction? Okay not ultimate but in that area. You see I’m a witch or Witch, cause we are our own genre of animal. But I don’t wanna talk about that stuff now. I was a normal teenage girl, worrying about make up and boys and school and whether people liked me or not. I wasn’t popular or anything, just trying to be, or wanting to be. I loved just sitting around or getting in the pool or hanging with my two best friends. But that’s gone now.

Now I am twenty-one years young and hiding out in this dark cold cave, waiting for the woman who ruined my life. I sit here all alone, the ones I loved are gone or just don’t understand that what I’m about to do is best for this world. When I kill this woman the world will be a better place. The only one who truly understands what I have to do Is Grey, the man I’ve loved since I became a Witch. He will always be in my heart and he will never leave it.

This Diary I am writing is my life since that week in September. The week I’ve never forgotten.

If I’m to die here on this mountain then I want everyone to know what I’ve been through, I don’t want anyone to forget me, I don’t want to be forgotten.

Never forget me

Chapter One

The Red/Green Light

I sat in the red Jeep spun in the opposite direction that I was supposed to be going, I had just gotten my permit. Ray was with me, he’s my older brother, he had taken me to the DMV because mom had to work. Now I know I will probably never drive again. I can still remember Rays face when I looked over at him slowly. His dark eyebrows were raised high, his eyes were huge, and his lips were just straight. It was kind of a funny face when I think about it now, but then I knew it meant he was pissed off, really pissed off. His hair was shaggy and dirty blond and everywhere, normally it’s really nice and in it’s place. Then he said slowly and angry,

“What. The. Hell. Was. That.”

I just stared at him wide eyed and totally freaked out.

“What was that Manda?” he yelled pointing to the car across the street. It’s passenger side was crushed in and the man that was inside it was on his cell probably calling the cops.

“I don’t know. I didn’t see him.” I whispered.

“You what?” he said in disbelief.

“Well he came out of nowhere.”

“It was his light Manda. You know? Red means you stop, it doesn’t mean go. Maybe in Europe it means go, but we’re not stupid here.”

“I know that,” I said still shaking, “I just thought it was green.”

“Oh my gosh Manda! Are you blind or something?”

Tears started coming down my cheeks, “No,” I whispered.

That’s when I think he noticed I was really scared and sorry.

“Manda?”

I didn’t look at him.

“Manda, look at me.”

I turned slowly.

“Oh sis I’m sorry.” He took me in his large arms and hugged me. “I didn’t notice. Don’t worry about it okay, I’ll try and fix it.”

He held me until we heard the sirens.

“Come on lets get out. I’ll talk to ’em, you just wait here next to the car.”

We both got out and he walked over to the cops and the man I hit. You see my brother wasn’t a bad guy, he was actually a great man. He had always treated his girlfriends like princesses, and he always put his family first. I remember this one time when I had a gymnastics competition and I really wanted him to go. Well his girlfriend at the time wanted him to go to the movies with some of their friends. He told her this and she got angry that he wouldn’t go with her, that he would put his family first. So she broke up with Ray right in front of me. He was really upset about it, but he still went to my competition and cheered me on.

I watched them talk for awhile, then I looked up into the sky and watched the clouds. It was a very nice day for September, it was in the seventies and there was a nice breeze going. I knew that it wasn’t going to last, because the weather man said it wasn’t. Normally I don’t listen to him but I thought I’d make an exception when I saw the big dark clouds rolling in from the east.

When I finally looked back at where Ray, the cop, and the man I hit, I saw that Ray was calling me over. I was scared I have to admit but I had to go over there, I couldn’t just take off running. I would be known as the stupid girl who tried to run from the cops and who tripped over her own feet. Yeah I’m a klutz. When I reached them I had my sad/innocent face on, and I gotta say I think it was working.

“You’re Amanda, right?” asked the cop.

I nodded my head.

“Okay Amanda I’m Officer Sherborn. Now your brother has told us you didn’t realize that the light was red, that you thought it was green, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And that you just got your permit, like fifty minutes ago?”

This was bad, “Yes.”

“Okay that’s it,” said Sherborn.

I looked up stunned, amazed, surprised. I mean this was freaking crazy, I thought for sure I was going to jail.

“What? Are your serious?” I asked.

“Yeah. Mr. Ferro here said he’s not pressing any charges, or anything, though I disagree with him. He just wants you to pay for the damage.” said Sherborn putting up his little black notebook.

“But I don’t have any money.”

“Well I suggest you get a job, because he’s not accepting anything from your brother or your mother.” Sherborn turned and left us without another word.

I was still amazed by what just went down. How could I have such good luck? Well not the getting a job part, but still.

“Thank you Mr. Ferro,” said Ray holding out his hand.

Mr. Ferro took it and said, “It’s no problem Ray. I have so many more wrecks, and I can’t just be all pissy about it when someone hits one of my cars. Amanda?”

I looked over at him, “Yes, sir?”

“If you can’t find a job I have an opening as a secretary at my office. It’s a nice little place and there are other youngsters there I think you’ll get along with.”

“Um what is it?”

“It’s a pediatric facility. I like younger people working with me, they seem more attune to what children like and don’t like, and they are much more caring. You’ll just have to go through some training, but other than that you can have it. You’ll just have to check people in and do some paperwork, but I think you can handle it.”

“Oh-um thanks, I’ll think about it.” I said.

Then Ray just had to butt in, “What do ya mean you’ll ‘think about it,’ she’ll take it.”

“Ray!” I said annoyed.

“All right, just come in on Wednesday after school and I’ll get you set.”

“Okay where is it?” said Ray.

“Huh?” I said

“It’s over by Wal-Mart, in the little strip mall.”

“But-”

“Okay she’ll see you there,” and they separated and walked to their cars, leaving me there puzzled.

What the heck was this? My brother selling me down the river? Dang it! I knew this little happiness wouldn’t last, well I guess I better follow him.

We were able to drive off without any problem, but Mr. Ferro had to stay and wait for the tow truck. Ray had asked him if he wanted a ride home but Mr. Ferro said no he’s big boy and can ride home with the tow truck man. Yeah I had a dirty thought there to, but I hid my smile. Ray drove over to Al’s Gas, again I smile when I see it, and filled the car up halfway. Damn gas prices now a days. I watched these two little boys play basketball while Ray filled up the Jeep. It was a nice feeling watching those two little boys, it was so much easier then. You didn’t have to worry about looks, offending someone, you didn’t have to worry about anything really. You could just be yourself and have fun. Now I can’t do that. I have to make myself pretty, think before I speak, school. Oh the life of a teenager sucks now a days.

When Ray opened the door I jumped, I wasn’t expecting it. He laughed at me, “A little jumpy are we?”

“Well you try not jumping at every sound you hear after a crash.” I said folding my arms.

“Aw I’m sorry. I just thought it was funny.”

“Hmm.”

He shook his head and started the car.

On our way back I saw Mr. Ferro at the body shop and a very pretty lady with a corvette next to him. He had kissed on the cheek and said goodbye to the owner of the body shop when the light finally turned green. I wondered if he really was a pediatrician, and if they really got paid a ton of money. That might be something I wanna look into.

We got home five minutes later, and once Ray unlocked the door I went straight up to my bedroom. Ray told me before to just let him handle talking with mom, he knew how to tell her without pissing her off. I totally agreed with that. Any time I told her something bad that happened at school she would get all mad and yell and curse and send me to my room. But not with Ray. He once locked a teacher out of the classroom and got suspended for it. When he told mom she just blew it over, just told him he couldn’t leave the house for a week. I always poked fun at him for it. Saying he was the favored child, but we both knew it wasn’t true. Mom loved us both equally, I knew because she never just talked to one of us, or spent her time with just one of us. She always would go to each of our rooms and talk to us about our day, she knew our favorite foods and would even cook separate meals for us. She always hugged us more than once when we left for school. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.

Well after he unlocked the door I went straight upstairs to my bedroom. The walls leading up the stairs were covered in pictures of us when we were growing up, and in the square hallway were pictures of our entire family. My room was the one closest to the bathroom, then Ray’s, and mom’s across from mine. We lived in a nice house, big enough for the three of us. My room was the best though. On the door was a sign that said Manda’s Room, with stars all over it. I love stars. When you go inside it’s a burst of vanilla smell, since I have the candle burning twenty-four/seven, and it’s a really light blue color. My bed over up against the wall in the corner was a queen sized bed and had light blue bed sheets. My dresser was set in front of my bed between my closet and door with a flat screen on top. My DVD player set next to the T.V. with a porcelain horse on top. I love horses also. My desk was in front of the window with my laptop and school stuff on it. I had a lap on my little bedside table with my alarm clock/iPod dock on it.

I went over to my bed and plopped down on it. My kitten, Sasha, can and sat on my leg.

“Hey there beautiful, where’d you come from?”

She just meowed at me.

I stroked her soft white fur for a little bit then got up to do my homework. I sat at that desk for the rest of the time until mom got home just listening to my iPod, I didn’t even touch the books in my bag.

I heard the door open and close downstairs and my mom saying, “I’m Home!”

I turned off the music and went out of my room. Mom had just made it up the stairs and she smiled at me, “Hey precious, how are you? Did you have a good day?”

“Hey!” I went over and gave her a hug, “I’m good just really hungry.”

“Well you’re in luck, I brought home some Sonic.”

I smiled and gave her another hug and headed for the stairs.

“I’ll be down in a minute, I just gota change.”

“K.”

Mom worked over at Salem Memorial. She was an RN, and she was head of the ICU. She was probably the best nurse there in my opinion, she always came home with letters from patients saying thank you and stuff like that.

Mom didn’t look anything like me, and I her. She had light blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She was short like me, but more straighter I guess. Ray looked so much like her though. Same hair, eyes, nose, cheeks, everything.

I went into the kitchen, Ray had already dug into his food. I laughed at him in my head and went over to the bags of food. I found my onion rings and number two burger and my vanilla coke. Yes I love vanilla. It’s what my body wash is, my drink, my perfume, really anything that has to do with hygiene is vanilla. I sat at the table next to Ray.

“So you tell her yet?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said with food in his mouth, “waiting for the right time.”

I nodded my head.

Mom came into the kitchen two minutes later, She sat down at the table with humph and smiled at us. She began grabbing at her food and said, “You will never guess what happened to me today.”

Me and Ray looked at one another, “What?” he asked.

“I got to fire Rosanna today,” Mom was smiling when she told us this, and I could hear her chuckling under her breath.

“Holy crap! Are you serious?” Ray asked.

“Yup. I was so excited! She knew what was happening to when I brought her into my office. Gah that b-word,” Mom never cussed, which is surprising because me and Ray are total potty mouths, “got what was coming to her.”

Rosanna was moms enemy. She is probably one of the most rudest, most evilest person ever. She never left mom alone, and would always belittle her. But mom couldn’t do anything about it because Rosanna’s father ran the whole hospital. So I guess since he died last week she had no one to save her.

We just sat there the rest of the evening talking about how much we hated Rosanna, even though me and Ray had never met her in person.

Then it was time. Mom was getting ready to go to bed, and Ray had to tell her. She would see the messed up car in the morning when she leaves for work anyway.

“Um mom can I tell you something?” Ray asked.

“Yeah what is it?” then mom’s face lit up. “Oh I almost forgot, how was you’re permit test today?”

“That’s what I need to tell you about,” said Ray looking at his plate.

I was looking at my feet by that time, acting like I was thinking about something important.

“Well.”

Ray looked up, then began the inevitable.

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Reviews

June 14, 2009

jakuper

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
86	77.3% (44 votes)	36.6%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
54	M	Israel	November 10

jakuper reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

“I wasn’t popular or anything, just trying to be, or wanting to be”—First I thouth you were talking about just be alive, but you meant be popular so, maybe write “just trying to be such”

“When I finally looked back at where Ray, the cop, and the man I hit”-it’s unfinished. You should add “were” or “stood”

“and said goodbye to the owner… when the light finally turned green”—It sounds he waited to lights turn green to say goodbye. It’s not your meaning, so rewrite this.

“But not with Ray”—but you continue and tell that Ray got the same treatment from his mother – so it’s inconsistency.

“The walls leading up the stairs ”—”the stairs” here is redundant. You mentioned a moment ago you went upstairs, so walls leading up could be only near the stairs.

“My kitten, Sasha, can and sat on my leg.”—can is wrong here. Usually cats can sit on people’s legs.

“Mom didn’t look anything like me, and I her”—“and I her” is redundant

I didn’t read your previous versions, so cannot compare. This version is very good. I don’t know where you are leading yet, but I didn’t feel bored for a moment. You alsi describe characters very well.
All in all, yes, I’d like see more.