Poetry / Miss

Actually a common sentiment from cultures subjugated under the “white standard”, which many people claim forces minorities and subcultures to act white against the grain so to speak.

I’d say to mix it up a bit, try to get a new perspective on this issue.  Also give some personal anecdotes, particular ways in which you must act differently, etc…

What is your soul and where does it belong?

I really enjoied the form of this.  It had a very nice flow to it that made it easy to read and even easier to follow.  Your topic is univeral and everybody can relate to poems of such widely felt emotions.  I think we all have trouble dealing with life as it changes who we are and how we are judged when we should not be subject to such mindless jabber!

There is a great rhythm to this, it would do very well as a spoken word piece.  Some may say rhymes in spots are a little unneccessary, but they do preserve the strong rhythm element, so I think they’re okay.    
   Only thing that bothered me was that some of the repeated words (dream for instance) seemed a little excessive.
   Possibly add some more imagery here and there, but considering the age of the writer I’d have to say this is an outstanding piece.  You have a lot of talent. Keep writing.  

This poem reads as though it’s unfinished, sort of rambling along in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way.  It has some great moments, like:  ”my face becomes hidden as a chameleon to its tree / As I try to regain my visibility” but it also has a lot of fat that needs to be cut from the meat.  

“Just because I don’t fit the description of the average human being, / Differing from what you think, / I have problems too.”  Here your poem’s speaker makes a vague comment about an “average human being”, which means nothing without a definition of what the speaker believe the average human to be.  A close-minded, middle-class white man, maybe?  I’d only be guessing.  And “Differing from what you think” involves a supposition, too.  Who is the “you” being addressed here?  The average human?

The part about missing oneself, the “I miss being me” that kicks the poem off and is revisited at the end, could also use clarity.  I can’t tell if the speaker knows who this person is, the identity that’s missed.  What does the speaker miss?  When was this identity expressed, and in what context?  In this life?  In youth?

This piece is strong because it has a ring of truth and the perspective of the speaker is consistent and solid.  It just needs a bit of paring down so the points come across with more power.

I did not finish reading this peice. From what I read it is a stereotypical late adolescent rant about identity issues. Not that the subject matter is not worth discussing. However, this peice does not do so artfully. I learned an importent lession in High School English class; “Show not tell”. The author does not show the audience anything about his particular identity, experience, or personal development.
Overall this peice is not terribly creative or structurely sound.
I suggest that you read some Gwendolyn Brooks, Alain Locke, or Audrey Lorde. Studying their talents improved my writing and self concept.