Thanks for the input, I have Roland’s name because I am writing the story from both of their views. Although at the moment it is more directed towards her there will be his side to see soon as well.
I will put to relax and have a good time, since I meant to imply a nice time not work or drama related.
Thanks for the review!
Romance / We're Human Too
We’re Human Too
Walking down the street massaging her neck, Nicole let out a sigh thinking of her day; she had busted 7 perps, finished her –rising stack- of paperwork, took her car in for a tune up, and ran 5 miles in preparation of the fun raising marathon next month. Walking down the stairs and through the entrance of the How ‘Bout bar she thought of all the memories could not wait to drown out with a dew good drinks and maybe once night of peace. Walking in the bar, she noticed a man in the back, in a dark corner, sitting alone; even from this distance she could see he was handsome.
Noticing herself, she stopped staring and sat down at the bar, “The usual, Sam”, “Alrighty” he replied he said as he went about making her drink. He placed the drink in front of her and returned to wiping out some cups. She sipped the drink slowly, finding herself to busy trying to peer at that strange man to worry about her drink. When she finally turned to look directly at him, he was gone. Getting up, she looked around to find him but to no avail, sitting back down she sighed a short whine in frustration and disappointment.
She returned to her seat and her drink, only to be interrupted a moment later by a tap on her shoulder, turning she saw a drunk of a dirty old man smiling back at her. “Can I buy you another drink?” he asked while turning to wink at his buddies at a nearby table, they quietly hooted their approvals back to him. “No thanks, I was about leave” she said standing. She put her money next to her drink and started walking away but he grabbed her arm saying, “Hold up now, I just wanted to have a talk, that’s all” she yanked her arm free, “Keep your hands off me, Asshole!” she replied. “That’s no way for a Lady to talk, but then again” he stopped while looking her up and down. She was wearing some tight leather pants with a red tank top and black jacket; she had dressed with the hope of having some fun tonight but not with his type. “Then again” he continued, “You don’t really look like a Lady to me” he said with a smile as his hands grabbed onto her and pulled her close. The smell on him made her stomach churn; she had to end this before it got out of control.
He never saw her fist coming as it flew through the air and hit his jaw; either from the liquor or force, he fell back on the bar stool. “Don’t ever touch me, EVER!” she shouted. His buddies got up and started walking over, she turned to leave, thinking that the end of it when she was blocked off by one of the men, then quickly surrounded. The wounded ego of a man from before, came forward “Come now girly, we just want have a good time” he chuckled. His buddies followed with their own taunts and laughs as they stepped closer to her. With her hand on her gun she tensed up, ready for a fight.
The bartender set down his glass to interrupt this, when one of the men pulled out a gun and aimed it towards him saying “Back off, buddy”. All the guys started laughing at the bartender’s reaction, and turned their attention back to Nicole, ready to take her for a night on the town when –he- stepped in-between them.
Roland was just outside smoking a cigarette when he the commotion. Walking in the bar, he quickly assessed the situation and went to protect the woman or rather to kill the men. The men took steps forward about to jump him, he stared back with murderous intent in his eyes, and the men hesitated. What is this bull, Nicole thought to herself, I am no weakling to be rescued. She pulled out her badge as she stepped around the mountain of a man before her, and shoved it in the men’s faces. “Still want to fight boys?” she asked with a grin. The men cussed to themselves as they apologized and quietly left.
Standing their smiling to herself, she took a deep breathe; enjoying the pride filling the air around her, she turned to Roland. “Thanks, but as you saw I can handle myself just fine” she said proudly smiling. “Whatever” he replied with a shrug and sat down at the bar to watch the game. Twitch, her eye twitched, as she felt her ego get slapped by this strange but tall, dark, and handsome man. She shook herself free of those thoughts and sat a stool away from him and ordered another drink; I wonder why he is so smug, not like he did much, she thought.
5 minutes go by, and silence fills the space between them, 10, and 15 minutes go by, she has had about 6 drinks by now. Is he going to say something or not, she asked angrily? “Hey, what is your deal?” she asked him, quite loudly in fact, causing a few heads to turn their way. He just stared into the TV, not noticing her. “Fine, I am out of here” she said getting up in a hurry. She took one last look at him as she walked out of the bar. Walking up the stairs, angrily, she mutters “Damn it”.
Nicole heads straight home for bed; enough craziness for one day she decides to herself. Coming home she just collapses on bed from the emotional drain of her day. Lying on the bed she quietly says "to bad" and she falls asleep into a deep dream. In her dream, she is running, running after someone, but does not see who it is and she can’t seem to catch up as she runs faster. “Please, don’t leave me” she begs the man; still she chases him, forever, it seems. And then he turns to smile but fades away, and she screams, “NO!”. She wakes in haste and sits up, ending her scream. Realizing where she is she lets out a sigh of relief. As she is about to get up, she sees Roland in the corner, sitting in her chair, startled she gets up quickly grabbing her gun and points it back….to an empty chair. Looking around her room, she puts the gun back down saying, “Must be seeing things”.
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Snuggle_Bunny reviewed Version 2 -
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asbanagan reviewed Version 2 -
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i found a grammatical error “Roland was just outside smoking a cigarette when he the commotion”
i think it has a lot of potential for a a great story and now hope to see more of it.
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FrakKevin reviewed Version 2 -
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I thought she was going to the bar to relax, but you then mention she was a dressed a certain way because she was looking forward to hooking up with somebody. Just mention earlier that she’s going to drink AND possibly pick up a decent looking guy.
Did she already know Roland? If not he should remain nameless until he himself introduces himself.
I like the ending, mainly because of her dream…she has some daddies or man issues. Overall it’s a good start
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