Poetry / I Fed it a Cloud (Analysis)

This new, first time read style. Sounds like good song, maybe should see with music if you like. Happy tone rhymes.

I read it as a sort of adult version of Dr. Seuss.  It was quite clever and amusing at the beginning, but became tedious about half way through.  It came over as something intending to be funny, but not quite funny enough. I would shorten it or try reworking it and making it go somewhere – even nonsense can tell a story and not stop at merely playing with words (think Belloc, Nash and Lear).

wow that was unique…. somewhat hard to follow, but it was very interesting

I loved the title and it drew me forward into the piece.  That is good.

spring sun sky sky sky
sky sun, some stopped sun…seems out of place
stopped, started, laugh.
laughed laughed laughed laughed laughed…it is certainly odd but makes the reader feel comical in a sense.  It is also very intelligently written!

she said, “she sun, sun…was it written from a child’s view?  Like a two or three year old trying to say something about something then laughing?
I didn’t see where the cloud was fed but I really enjoyed your work.  It was fun, fun, fun and I laughed.  Thank you