Once again, Thank you. Watch for version 3 coming soon!!
Flash Fiction / To You, My Love
I wake each morning and can't wait to touch you. I am amazed at how much you must love me. What will we be in the mood for today? Shopping - you are a patient shopper, never complaining or rushing me along. We could talk, we are such communicators! Hours can go by and I won't have realized the time. I am so touched by your presence.
I dream of places to go- Scotland, Australia, perhaps Greece. Together we’ll plan and prepare for trips we will never take- but it’s a wonderful diversion! You take me all over the world, if only in my mind.
I write you letters, going on and on, revealing my true feelings; sharing my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets. You never speak over me or criticize.
I so love to ask you questions. You always know the answers! You educate me; the mental stimulation often stronger than the physical. Your intelligence is attractive and enticing; it pulls me even more into you.
You introduce me to new friends, so many friends! Once shy and unapproachable, with you I am outgoing and afraid of nothing. I enjoy deep conversations and more- so much more! I was once so lonely and inhibited, now I feel free to stretch the limits all because of you, my darling.
The experiences you have shown me have taken me to new highs. The adrenaline rushes and all that comes with them, with you I never know what I will find.
I will forever run to you when times get tough. For where others have left me, you remain by my side. We will curl up in bed and the cold, cold world will melt away. It’s just you and me, my love. I pull you closer, feel your heat and become more engrossed in your presence. This is where I need to be.
The day comes to an end, eventually it must. I fear having to close my eyes and not see you. Reality is so harsh, even in the night. I fight these fears as I know I will wake to you again, ready for the day’s adventures, comfort and sweet bliss.
I roll over to reach for my nightstand. My fingers ever so gently touch your glowing place and I watch as you slowly shut down into your deep sleep. You are my love; my life; my sweet diversion.
Tomorrow, my darling, tomorrow…..
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jakuper reviewed Version 3 -
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burnvictim reviewed Version 3 -
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LexiLane reviewed Version 3 -
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Bobthehand reviewed Version 3 -
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Olive147 reviewed Version 2 -
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I really wish I hadn’t read your note! It completely ruined it for me…But it was really good, and the ending would have been phenominal had I not read the note and known what was going to happen. My one piece of advice is that you not list the characteristics of what we think at the time is a person but ends up being a computer. Mix it up a little bit more, and really make it sound the way someone would talk about a person. Great write.
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marshmellotoast reviewed Version 2 -
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I think it was clear it was a computer, who shops on the TV? And dumping inner thoughts and feelings… But then again I might have thought differently if not for the notes to reviewers. My suggestion is to repost it and simply ask what the reader was thinking about while they read it. I’m interested to see if I would have been confused.
shoppingcartfreedom reviewed Version 2 -
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swanpatronus reviewed Version 2 -
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A new perspective on an everyday object, and one that is quite pertinent to today’s society given the overreliance of some people on electronic devices. Good job – I really enjoyed it.
dcelia reviewed Version 2 -
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Ouch, webwriter! I read this and first was so warmed by the thought that you had found someone – a person – that gave you true happiness. But as i got closer and closer to the end I felt as if i was looking in the mirror at myself. Dare I say I might touch my laptop and my blackberry more than my wife? Even if it is not true, you got me to stop and think about it. And if you get people to think then you have suceeded in writing something that moves.
I think this does have potential for you to expand upon. I bet many have similar stories to tell of their relationship with technology. What about from different perspectives? You wrote from the point of view of a love affair. What about addiction? Lifelong friendship? Love-hate? Parent-child (are you submissive to the computer or vice-versa)? I bet you could find someone that uses their computer exclusively for physical pleasure, so there is another angle. There are likely others too.
Nice work
KCalland reviewed Version 2 -
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Nice work. Personally, I didn’t need the explanation prior to the story. I really, really like the “not knowing” who or what the true love is. For me, the reveal at the end makes this much more powerful and a sad but true statement of our world today.
I enjoyed this a lot and feel that it could be expanded upon, with a little more added detail the revalation at the end could be even more powerful.
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Version 3
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