Heavy metal, baby. Several of your suggestions can be found in my first version, and I was tormenting myself about changing them. I DID like that all the first words of the first stanza were “it’s”. Thanks for the review. I’ll have a new version up real quick. Let me know if you like it.
Lyrics / Not Gonna Happen
You see it,
And you want it.
You have no idea why.
It’s so stupid.
It’s so tragic,
And it’s never going to die.
So it just keeps on eating
Your thoughts, and when you sleep,
Your subconscious mulls it over,
And decides it’s got to keep
Going, going, going…
It’s not gonna happen.
It’s a guy.
It’s a girl.
It’s a rare, exotic drug.
It’s a car.
It’s a painting.
Do you really give a fuck?
It takes up all your time,
And it borders on the morbid.
But it’s not your fault, of course.
If it were, may God forbid
The repercussions if…
It’s not gonna happen,
So get to moving on.
It’s not gonna happen,
But you can’t quit—Can you be wrong?
So you’ve seen it through, and now?
Has surviving made you stronger?
Are you better than before?
Just hope that next time won’t be longer.
It was there.
It was fun,
When it was a fantasy.
Then it came.
Then you lost
Your only chance to be happy.
That’s how it feels today.
Now lie down; get some sleep.
Tomorrow, this was all a dream,
And you’ll be laughing as you weep.
It’s not gonna happen;
You’ve seen to it yourself.
It wasn’t gonna happen,
Now put your heart back on that shelf.
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cooljim102055 reviewed Version 5 -
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hi there,
i like your title..”it’s not gonna happen”..it’s a very cathy. catch phrase people can relate to..for many reasons…but the way you use it in this song, it’s not clear just what reason it is..i’m thinking it’s a love relationship by the last line..you put your heart back on the shelf..but you have to develop this more and be more clearer..why…this happen, where…what caused this..etc.but for 10 mintutes,what it took you to write this makes it a real good start, ihope you rewrite it cause does have a catchy tempo to it…jim
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urbanrenewal reviewed Version 3 -
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It’s so stupid.
It’s so tragic,
And it’s never going to die.
Maybe take out the and in this verse, it ruins the flow of the bluntness of the first two. Also, for the first verse, maybe just “No idea why”. The first verses are very blunt, very “Oomph” I think the last line of each is a little long.
“Your subconcious mulls it over” This is overtly complicated for a song. Maybe find another way of saying this.
If it were, may God forbid
The repercussions if…
^ See this is good, because you’ve used a complicated word, but a short line, thus it fits the overall “theme” of your song.
Tomorrow, this was all a dream,
^ Try never to mix future, past and present tense like this. Tomorrow, future. This, present. Was, past. Bad person. :-P
Perfect favourite all time line of this song? Put your heart back on the shelf. Brutal sadness about the imagery there. This was a good effort. I’d be interested in genre. Punk rock? Heavy Rock?
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