why thank you :)
Haiku/Senryu / You Know I'm Right
what is that feeling
in the crevice of unknown?
bug in my buttcrack
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
ThomasAlan reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 40 word review has not been unlocked.
snarfus reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 58 word review has not been unlocked.
Matthewtuckey reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
Haha, love the punchline! Goes to show poetry is not solely for the pansies and romantics. I’ve never known anyone to describe their arse so elaborately. Not sure about the total lower-case, though.
- add/view comments (0)
Alexandra1995 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This poem is definatly meant for humor. Laughs will be passed down with every review you get. I honestly can’t think of anything to fix. The wording is perfect, and your humor is spot on.
stum reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
It certainly entertained me. The first two lines certainly build the climax up enough for it to be revealed in the last line. I like the use of metaphors in the second line. As for publishable…I don’t know, might it be too crude?
NatashaTragedy reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
You’ve definitely followed the syllable rule for haiku, however, I’m entirely uninterested in your..well, subject of choice.
And you spelled apologize wrong in your details, just so you know.
snarfus reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Interesting, and funny. I might suggest some punctuation, otherwise the reader is going to read it as a “feeling in the bug”. I’d say throw a question mark after “unknown” if that is where the wondering ceases, as it seems the answer to that question is “bug in the buttcrack”.
greenmosswhitetree reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
very…blunt. wow. didn’t see that one coming. I’m not quite sure what to do with that…
Deadsage reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Hey, it might not be seasonal, about nature, or pointing out the human condition… but it’s 5, 7, 5 and fun. Thanks for making me smile.
Harold_P reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Witty. Second line could be a little more connected to the others, as “crevice of unknown” hangs out there a little.
But the last line is hilarious.
-H
Showing 1 - 10 of 14
Next →
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
5 Reviews 3 Comments
Version 2
Latest Activity: 16 days ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 28 Times
Skipped: 3 Times
Ratings & Rankings
Versions
| Version 2 |
| Version 1 |