Short Story / Saunders (Analysis)
And there was Saunders, the girl with the fat, budding eyes, the girl that rooted herself in side-sweeping negligence, the kind that moved her from one place to another, from one end of an ugly valley to the deepest bottom of some big canyon, rooted in and rotted out with the staunch, never-ending stability of a corpse. She submitted herself to the trees, to the crow’s eye view, to the perspective of gaseous planets, she reveled in the lunacy of the golden moon haze, from the far reaching glimmer of stars to the drudgery and uselessness of a long night’s sleep... she thought of somber things, she spent days picking at her tendons that coiled about her spine… they hit notes, they played a tune, a song she liked, a song she sang, one she knew the words to.
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The opening sentence is long and complicated, consider revising some.
I’m not exactly sure how to review this, as it is not really a short story and it contains no plot.
Just going off what is here, the only thing that I can suggest is that you definitely take a look at your sentence structuring.
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very good use of imagery and a very upper class vocabluary. if i was to change anything it would only be to get rid of some of the commas and make them either stanzas or sentences. other then that i think its brilliant
Poor girl. the sound of her looks all together sounds vile. This was a good beginning. It captivated the reader’s attention, made them want to read more. Keep it up and I hope to read the next bit.
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