Romance / Love

Very true, but. the “That we will ever have to magic” Did You mean imagine? having magic right there didn’t make sense to Me. other then that one small mistake, I liked it and found it true, “Hope you enjoy it” Really? Cause I really enjoyed it, but also made Me frown cause it’s making Me think of My past…

Given that all you had was an hour, I understand your predicament. Sometimes you may have a long winded opinion on something but when you’re put on the spot your mind goes blank. I like what you’ve come up with in terms of content. You’ve explained the opposite sides of what love is without complicating it too much. But I do feel that the rhyming seems a little forced. Maybe you should re-write it by just jotting your thoughts down, compare them to things and don’t worry about the flow. That usually comes when you let yourself really feel what you’re writing about.

Overall I like the tone you wrote with and the way you chose to describe how it feels to be in love and what your definition of love is.

The poem overall felt like it could do with a bit more work.  Maybe find a way to add some of the emotion the feeling of love can cause within people.  Although what you wrote was mostly true, it may be possible to express it in better words.

As you’re are under 18 I would guess that you can still remember your own first stirrings of love, the joy and the dissappointment.  You should try to carry this into your writing.  The innocence and purity of your early experiences of love will only add depth to your work.

I did notice this error:
Somethign – something

The best thing to do is just get as much constructive input as posssible and keep on working. Good luck :)

this should be under poetry!

spelled something wrong.

okay piece.

I think you did a great job, with your ability to get the point across. and while you explained love, it seemed more of a list rather than romantic.

I like the construction of the piece and the thought that went into it, but I guess what a poem about love really needs is a bit more emotion. at least for me.

I agree with this poem. Love is very complicated, it can come in many different way.

Something shouldn’t spelled somethign

Punctuation?

i really like the way this is written! Most people, when they write about love, only mention the good parts; i love that you are willing to write about the horribal parts, and the incredibal. good job!

There is alot of truth to this piece.

1/It makes your heart finally whoe – this line makes no sense.
2/ for continuity, find a fourth line for the last stanza.

Nice little poem.

A little cheesy at times, but overall it was fine. You should try to use more original expressions for the theme of love, because these have been used many times, so yours will just appear run of the mill. You have potential to view it in a unique light, so go for it :) Good effort, though.

Raven

insightful. Love IS complex….to make you feel empty or whole.