Lyrics / The Greatest Show on Earth

WOW… I really liked the chorus and I thought the way the song was put together was brilliant. I am not sure everybody could relate to this… or that they would understand it which is the only negative thing I could think of. Anyways… rock on! lol

sorry to be critical but i didnt get the point of the lyrics. you seem talented but this one sounded political which is never interesting in music bc people usually listen to music to get away from economical and political problems.

try something less analytical about society.

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February 17, 2009

by Cigarette_Clown

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22	M	Fairdale, WV	July 12

Bob Dylan, Niel Young, The Doors, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine, Pearl Jam,  Even the fucking Woo Tang Clan,

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hi there,

well for a song, it’s seems quite complex…most lyric writers don’t want to hear their song would be better as a poem but i think this would be.please God let me in?...the greatest show on earth?...aren’t you there already? i do like some of the lines..the t.v. as the violent machine..breathing in a fume conceived to consume…but in the same token you say milk the mute…which i understand but BEND the blind? or our free dies in the conscription line?..that doesn’t even sound right to me. you wanted me to be honest, sorry i seem so harsh…but you are very creative..and sounds like you’d make a great poetic…but lyric writing i believe consists of orginallity/simplicity as the 2 main ingredients….i’ve yapped enough…:),,jim

I liked this.  I think it probably sounds really good with music, but without it, I will give you a few suggestions:

I thought that the last line sounded “hokey” if that’s a word :)  It fits rythmically with the rest of the song, but seems too shallow in words compared to the rest of the lyrics.  

Also the chorus probably fits well in singing, but is also out of place soley on the page.  In the whole of your writing, you use more formal language, but in the chorus you are informal in speech.  If I were keeping this as a poem, I would revise the chorus.

Overall this was good :)

I do like the lyrics but would be really interested to hear the music!  It seems to me that it would be a very aggressive song with heavy drum and bass.  The words are certainly hard hitting.  It would make a great anthem to a freedom march or soundtrack to a documentary dealing with some of these issues.  Well done, keep going.

shades of ‘rage against the machine’...i can actually here them doing it, so that speaks well for qulaity…not exactly my taste but there are alot who’ll enjoy it

My Goodness!!
Did I like it?
I LOVE IT!
It is reminiscent of some of the lyrics of Queensryche
and Pink Floyd.. with their strong driving themes that propel you in and make you—no, FORCE YOU.. to see things as they are, really are.  Not in a fantasy world or through the lens of media and politician.

As a hearing impaired person.. LYRICS are ALL to me.  I don’t hear the individual notes of music anymore, and must READ what i’m expected to hear.

I read this.. and FELT THIS and it MOVED ME.

This song, with the right instrumentation … would be an anthem for this generation and time.  Seriously.

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January 31, 2009

by Cigarette_Clown

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Thanks. I appreciate it.

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I wonder if you wrote this in reaction to the 9-11 incident and the war with iraq? That’s the vibe I’m feeling here. As for the lyrics themselves, this is
All the Earth’s populations
Gather hand in hand
For spiritual rebirth a bloody celebration / the last line of this has me confused. for spiritual rebirth a bloody celebration? I’m not sure what was meant to be said here by the bloody celebration part.
One last critique. Stare at the screen my violent machine
Did you Stare at the screen of my violent machine?

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January 30, 2009

by Cigarette_Clown

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What ever you want to interpret it to mean. It’s completely up to you. I could tell you what I think it means, but there really isnt one way to look at it.

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Well written, well done. Certainly a good piece.
In the spirit of criticism, I was severely criticized for using “myriad of” because the word is an adjective instead of a noun, so it should just be “myriad masses,” but as language changes, so does usage: executive decision on that one.

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January 30, 2009

by Cigarette_Clown

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the guitarist with whom i co-wrote the song brought that up but i told him we should just leave to keep the rhythm consistent and he agreed because niether of us thought that anyone listening to our music would notice. Good eye.

February 09, 2009

by alw_ays

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It’s really an evolving usage. You’re just on the ‘cutting edge’ if you will. Did you know Literally actually means both figuratively and literally? Go figure.

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