Poetry / Brittle Bones

This cocoon, you tell me
propels you out
bubbles me in
Velcro’s my soul
denies you my love
brittles my bones
and floats my body lonely to sea.

But at least they’ll find my lonely body dry.

At least they’ll find my brittle bones dry.

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Reviews

September 03, 2009

TravisMaximus

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
56	53.8% (26 votes)	9.1%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
18	M	Fairfield, TX	October 13

TravisMaximus reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

The concluding couplet is amazing. I’m not positive I understand your phrasing in ‘and floats my body lonely to sea’ why not ‘and floats my lonely body to see’. I’m not saying you didn’t have a reason for putting it the way you did, I’m only inviting you to explain it to me.