Poetry / Nothing to report (Analysis)
I am standing here.
smoking up a storm again.
we ran away three days ago
it's been heaven ever since.
we didn't say goodbye, we burnt those bridges.
I am running out of cigarettes once again.
you're writing some stupid poem about us.
thinking it might bring me back to reality.
I am in love with the open road, not you, not us.
I forgot to wear jeans today, not that you mind at all.
the mirror is still on the table, the blade somewhere close by.
there goes out gas money once again.
I am starving, but you drank the last of the whiskey.
"Where is your mind?" you speak with intense eyes.
I don't bother and lay back down on our creaking bed.
I light up another and relax in to the worn down sheets.
you bring your burdens to my lips and press them in.
we're both too pathetic to deny eachother.
It wastes an hour as you manage to fumble your way through.
Love comes in many forms, this isn't one of them.
I put your shirt on with the remembered jeans. Classy.
while you tend to the angel at the door.
I discover the blade near the mirror.
you bring me gifts of beer and powders.
Cutting while I drink, you're still naked I notice.
dividing up five lines, always the greedy one.
snorting three you pass me the note.
This is the part where the pain sets in.
First one.
then two.
Hitting me like a thousand bricks behind my eyes.
Fuck, that one burnt.
You are drinking the rest of my beer.
I smoke another and pure ecstacy hits me.
I wake up in the bathroom.
there is the smell of blood in the air.
I try to lift my head but it's too weighed down.
not by thoughts, probably the coke and beer.
You call my name.
"I was fun right Clyde?"
"More than anyone I'll ever know Bonnie."
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My heart is beating really fast becasue I can relate to your poem so much. You effectivley and precisely translate a reality; to some, to me this poem is universal. When a reader can relate to someones poetry they’re usually on to something good. YOur poem plays like a movie in my mind. I can smell the coke and the alcohol on your breath. But the poem is of course way more than about substances, this poem is substance. Look forward to reading more.
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Hi there, hope all is well with you.
Okay, you asked for this so here it is; I may be a bit off the plains flat edge but I adore this piece. I love the randomness, the intensity, how well you hold it together.
Correct this small error “we’re both too pathetic to deny eachother.”
I swear your mind is way beyond your bodies years, this line kills “you bring your burdens to my lips and press them in”
Your mind spins in such a wild, self destructive mannor all throughout this piece. Like flinging wild colours of paint onto a fresh white wall just to see what it looks like when it is done. You, my dear have painted a clever visual here. It is hard-hitting, speaking of the all to real harshness of our world today. The ending rocks. You have the gift, please continue to let me know when your art reaches paper again, I feel stoned… me…
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