Poetry / Pleased to Meet You, My Name Is Sin

“Pleased to Meet You, My Name Is Sin”

I’m beautiful, aren’t I?

You want the forbidden, so I'll lead you away.

Now a veil covers your truth--

A fabric of deceit.

I’m ravenous...

Now there’s a blot on once perfect white--

A wrinkle in your garment.

Exactly…yes, that’s what I want from you...

Now you’re in black night

With no moon,

A drunken dream.

Your flesh is so smooth: delicious

Now a vapor, a poison

Rises from the floor of your heart

Transgression descends to hide your little light...

Didn’t you learn about that in Sunday school?

Now your soul is eclipsed from salvation.

Holy Water!

You should bathe

In Holy Water!

Go under seven times;

Plead for purity restored.

I enjoyed that…a pleasure getting to know you...

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Reviews

December 23, 2008

jadedpoet

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
353	77.3% (75 votes)	26.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	M	Norcross, GA	November 18

jadedpoet reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

Hi there,

‘a drunken dream’. Wow, this piece blows me into the dirt. I adore the push, pull here. Its enticing flow speaks so clevery, so clearly of the sensual and lustful desires injecting into virginic (new word) skin (soul). I could go on and on here but it would cost you dearly in points. Other methods. me…

“Now there’s a blot on once perfect white—

A wrinkle in your garment.

Exactly…yes, that’s what I want from you…” way too clever…

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December 20, 2008

jadedpoet

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
353	77.3% (75 votes)	26.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	M	Norcross, GA	November 18

jadedpoet reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

Hi there,

Absolutely delicious! What a cleverly written piece. This metaphor is ingenious’

“Now there’s a blot on once perfect white—
A wrinkle in your garment.”

I love this line as well, “A drunken dream.”

Sure, there is a lot of talent here but some just seem to rise above the rest, as you have perfected. This is another ‘keeper’. Your mind swirls in a most flavourable direction. Another fine piece of mind candy for the reader who ‘gets’ you. me…