Short Story / Anger Boy
And of course, he was angry. Angry about the way the politician cleric had laughed at him. Angry about the way he had been treated in this place, the one place he should have been treated fairly. The one place he should have been able to go and receive respect. But that was not the case. The clerics of the State had not been kind to him. So of course, he had no choice but to be unkind to them.
Fawkes-R-O had come to the Church of the State because his uncle had been abducted by the government. Yes, the Church worshiped the government, but surely when presented with hard facts it would have to conclude the same thing Fawkes had. He had mounds of evidence that the state had taken his uncle, including eye-witness accounts, and photographs taken by nearby surveillance cameras. He could have taken the evidence to the courts, but they were a joke. The most the courts had the power to do, assuming they sided with him, was to pass on to the government advisory committee a form of advisement to investigate. This was little more than an indirect suggestion that the advisory committee consider passing on advice that the government investigate itself. Three or four layers of weak interaction was not what he was looking for.
The Church of the State was a better hope of actually getting something done, or so he’d thought. The Church was in direct contact with the agents of the State, in fact, its highest ranking clerics were politicians themselves. No one really knew what type of relationship the two entities had, and so without specific knowledge that it would be pointless, he had tried to appeal to them. Of course, he had discovered that the Church was not as benevolent as they made themselves appear to the public.
When he had raised the issue with one of the clerics, and shown him the evidence, the cleric had feigned interest in helping him. Fawkes-R-O had been naive, and had lent the evidence to the cleric to look over. He never got that evidence back, and the cleric denied ever having seen it the next time he’d visited. He pleaded with the clerics, but all he received was sneers of derision, and accusations that he was blaspheming the good name of the State. That he should not doubt the State. That to defy the will of the State was to be condemned to an afterlife of misery.
Now of course, he understood. The Church was really just a propaganda arm of the government, posing as an individual institution. He would have to find a way to sever that connection, and find out where his uncle was being held, or if he was even alive. The first stop would be at his friend MatzR’s home.
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Good opening line, very unique with the use of ‘And’ at the beginning. I do think that the beginning of your story starts out explaining a bit to much of the background of the situation…. Maybe you could start with the character recalling exactly what was said to him by the clerics (i.e. flash back). You might also benefit from moving the plot along with details like: he’s thinking this while driving to so-and-so to get more information, or some kind of action.
Just a few thoughts…
Cheers,
BC
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