Poetry / Allah's Tears

I believe in the power of names.

Christians, Jews, and Islam all worship the God of Abraham.

The old Mother is speaking. Glad you liked it.

I just put of Birth Knife of Islam.  Glad you liked this one.  I have several.

What is wrong with using honor and dishonor in the same sentence?  I’m glad you enjoyed my poem and hope you will read my others.

There is nothing wrong with it. I just meant that when two words closely resemble the other it throws off the rhythm a bit. Read it aloud and you will see what i mean. I did not mean to insult. i never insult a poet or a writer for that matter; especially when their works are as good as yours. Sandi

I did not take your critique as an insult, I just wondered what you ment.  Thanks for relpying, you answered my question.

I may expand it one day.

Thank you for the review, and yes I was consciously making that play on the word.

Is Ali ibn Husayn is a real person: He speaks through cracked lips.

This is a historical work as much as it is a religious poem and was written to be enjoyed by believers and non-believers.  I cannot answer for your perceived bigotry in other poet’s poems.

This is a free write, no rhyme or meter was consistently followed through the poem.

Often the wall of a tent will become damp from the breath of its occupants.  The old mother wanted the younger woman to collect this moisture with her veil so she could cool Ali Ibn Husayn fever by placing the damp cloth on his fore head.

Each of your questions had an answer in the poem.  Your response was as shallow as your reading and did not help with my craft.

Even a non-rhyming poem has a flow. I was trying to help.
Admittedly, I didn’t understand much of the poem.
Concerning ‘my perceived bigotry in other poets’ works’, I was complimenting your … for lack of a better word, peaceful approach to religion.
I still don’t understand who the hell Is Ali ibn Husayn is. You say he speaks through cracked lips, but I have no idea. Is he fictional, created for the purpose of the poem, or a real prophet of Islam (or something like that)?
Honestly, get off your f**king high horse. I didn’t understand your poem. Big deal. At least I attempted to help.
Oh, of course! Collect damp created by breath in order to put over a sick person and cool a fever. How was I supposed to understand that?
You could be grateful that I read your boring-as-hell poem.

Ok, thank you for sharing your ignorance and thank you for finally being honest in your critique.  If you ever become curious enough to learn something about a wider world Wikipedia is a great tool.

Wikipedia is not a good source, as it is not consistently accurate.
Again, get off your high horse. I’m not ignorant, I just didn’t like your poem. I tried being nice, and I tried being civil. Being a prick doesn’t make you a poet, sorry.
I didn’t say it was a good poem in the first place. I gave you a compliment, which you took out of proportion for god knows what reason, and then I attempted to help you with the flow of your poem. I’m not ignorant for criticising your ‘amazing’ poem, you’re ignorant for not accepting critisism.

Thank you :)

This is about the most helpful review I have received on Urbis.  I can use every suggestion you have made and you seem to appreciate this work.  Honestly, it makes most people uneasy.  

I hope you will check out my other historical poetry like “Imperator Caesar Divi AVGVSTUS” and “Birth Knife of Islam,” when I put that one up.  Historical accuracy is important to me as well as trying to capture the emotion of the characters.  This was one of my most successful attempts.

Thank you for sharpening my pen.

Verse with a historical bent!  Excellent.  I’ll snoop about for more of your work; thank you.