Poetry / STRESSED

It’s an interesting poem but it’s somewhat contradictory don’t you think?  In lines 1 and 2 you’re consistent.  But by line 3 the narrator says “I can’t sit or stand! No I can’t sit sit and stand!”  I have no problems with nonsense poems or anything but clearly one cannot “sit and stand” simultaneously.  Did you mean “sit OR stand” in the second repetition?  In line 5, there is another inconsistency with the narrator stating “Yes, I try but I shan’t!”  Up until this point, the dilemma seems to be one of inability but “shan’t” lends a willful element here.  ”I try to stand but I shall not” is different from “cannot”.  Finally, the last line “So I stand!!!” contradicts the beginning and the middle of the work.  The narrator cannot and will not sit or stand but in line six says “so I stand”?  The use of exclamation points, particularly two or three in a row, is very distracting to this reader and I think your work would benefit from the removal of most of them.  Anyway, good luck with it.

I’m not quite sure what you mean by ‘stressed to the vest’ but it sounds quite cool, it gives an edgey, unorganised feel which is a side effect of stress.
I like the idea of repetition in here and the dilemma over sitting and standing it allows the poem to convey the feeling of things running round in circles in your head, never ending, that sort of thing – which again is related to stress.

It is very well written and linked to the theme nicely.

Just for a  bit of constructive criticism – “My mind´s so racing” – I think ‘so’ has to be taken out, I’m not sure if it is intended to be there if it is, leave it, I’m just too narrow minded to think of a reason.

Also correct me if I am wrong somebody but is ’!!!’ gramatically incorrect? Again, you may not want to change this if you want the rushed, messy feel to be left in to link in with the theme. It is just me being picky. I like this poem alot though!