Fire the typist! :) In my haste I left the article ‘a’ out by mistake. :) Thank you so much and I’m glad it spoke to you. Cheers! :)
Poetry / Love
Love
Love is lick and a run of luck –
Runs hot, runs cold, runs amuck.
Rattles your cage, pumps the old blood –
Pours from your pores just like a flood.
Ever so gently it touches your heart
Then stings you meanly like a dart.
Fills you with feelings that make you shout,
Other times makes you want to pout.
I love love. I crave love. I need love.
But I rather go without.
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vickiebellew reviewed Version 1 -
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I found this a good read and more true than most will admit.It’s a simple poem but that’s the beauty of it. some think they have to make things hard to understnad for it to be god work. which I do not agree with.A peopm that can be understood today as well as a hundred years ago or a hundred years from now is true poetry to me. very well done…..
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Amara reviewed Version 1 -
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I really enjoyed this. Often times it is difficult to encompass the idea of love with words, but I think you’ve done it rather well. The only thing I can say I wasn’t that fond of was your first line…
“Love is lick and a run of luck –
Runs hot, runs cold, runs amuck…”
To me, it seems as if it should be “a lick”... It messes up the flow a bit when I read it. Aside from that, it’s fabulous.
mckinleycooper reviewed Version 1 -
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Your poem flows nicely—I like the rhythm.
Is the word “lick” in the first line, or is that a typo? If it is, that’s unusual…brave, and kind of funny. If it’s a typo, let me know which word you wanted, would you?
Keep on writing,
McKinley
TinaR2684 reviewed Version 1 -
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Amen to that. It’s true and it hurts. Well done. Short, simple and to the point. It’s exactly what love is all about.
LAluver4ever reviewed Version 1 -
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I love your alliterations and word play (“pours” and “pores”) – very clever! You’ve really got the feeling of love down – the goods and bads. The last stanza I especially liked because honestly the last line threw me off and surprised me (in the good way). The whole thing kept my attention, and my only disappointment was that it wasn’t long enough.
Great work!
weirdishfriend reviewed Version 1 -
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I always enjoy “love” poems and poems about its meaning. I’m starting to think that maybe we can’t fully describe it, but we can surely try. The rhyme scheme goes great for me, but the last two lines aren’t parallel to the other lines. I don’t know if thats how you wanted it so I’m just throwing it out there. Then, I don’t think that the word usage isn’t strong enough. Maybe thats what you wanted again. Overall, I liked it!
Jeff0307 reviewed Version 1 -
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I liked it. It was like turning on a blender of emotions. Strangely enough I can relate to alot of what you are expressing. The only part I didn’t like was the first line, but then again I don’t really have a great idea to change it, maybe lust instead of lick? By lick are implying taste or something more sensual?
Alexandra1995 reviewed Version 1 -
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This is one of the few very true poems that I have ever read. I’ve written many good poems in my life but no love poems have been as good as this one
tvirusjunkie23 reviewed Version 1 -
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It is a deep poem. I enjoyed it but it could use a little work. However, you are very expressive in your poetry.
EvolutionOfAMan reviewed Version 1 -
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I really liked this poem and definitely connected with you and your feelings. Here are a few suggestions
“Love is a lick” as opposed to “Love is lick”
The word “meanly” feels a bit out of place. I believe you can use a more powerful word that connects with “dart.’ How else does a dart sting?
“But I’d rather go without” as opposed to “But I rather go without”
In general, I would include the word “It” throughout: “It rattles your cage, pumps the old blood,” etc.
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