Haiku/Senryu / asphalt cemetaries

Hi there!  I’m not sure if I reviewed an earlier version of this?  What an extraordinary piece of writing: dense with meaning and numinous words to the point of bursting.  I had read and re-read it, and on the one hand it conjures some powerful, succinctly rendered natural imagery [as a traditional haiku should], but there seem to be layers upon layers behind this: memories of the fall [snake, fall]; a passage of time; all those ‘ll’s creating a tongue-twistingly tortuous read.  Then that final, less percussive, final line offers resolution.  You have combined complex music and some resonant imagery in only 17 syllables.  I don’t think I can offer improvements.  Only awe!

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July 07, 2009

by ThomasAlan

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
855	92.7% (123 votes)	77.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
58	M	State College, PA	November 21

No, I do not believe you have reviewed this before. Many thanks.  I have “been away” but perhaps I will be returning soon.  Take care, TA

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