Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Sons of Light - Chapter Three
Chapter Three
It took the woman several minutes to orient herself after she woke. Lucifer watched with great interest as she sat up and stretched the brand new muscles of her back and arms, rolling her long neck on slender, finely sculpted shoulders. Her dark, ebony hair hung down her back in thick waves as if veiling her body in shadow. He smiled. She was beautiful, exotic, and she was perfect.
Eve stood to her feet, getting a feel for her legs, mastering her balance and posture. As soon as she was able, she was soon on the move. Lucifer was surprised at her sudden interest in exploration. He took to the air, coasting above the canopy, studying her every move as she made her way through the forest. She held each flower, pressed all of them to her nose, breathing in every individual and unique scent. She examined every leaf, stopped to touch every animal that crossed her path. As she did so, he noticed odd, incoherent words escaping her round lips, words he did not understand. He soon came to realize she was naming the things she saw, the words being spoken again as she passed familiar creatures.
Before he realized it, they had come to a clearing somewhere near the heart of the garden. Lucifer had nowhere to go; he would be seen if he flew over her, so he quickly landed behind a tall oak tree, glad of the trunk’s wide circumference.
“Who are you?” Eve asked aloud suddenly. He glanced around, unsure of who she was talking to. He wondered if she thought the fruit tree in front of her to be sentient, but thought it unlikely, she was not ignorant after all. He continued to study her while she abruptly turned around in his direction. “Why are you following me?”
Lucifer gave a start. He glanced around again.
“You, behind that tree. Who are you?” She asked again, her tone firm, looking directly his way. Their eyes met; his hooked onto hers like a mosquito in amber. He slowly and timidly stepped out from behind the oak.
“You’ve been following me for a great distance. Who are you?”
“Lucifer,” he replied slowly, giving a slight bow of the head. “My name is Lucifer.”
“Lucifer?”
“Yes,” he replied slowly. “I’m an Angel of Adonai.”
“What? What is Adonai? What is an angel?”
He paused for thought, wondering about the best way to explain things to her. There was so much to tell and he did not know where to start.
“Adonai is your father, he made you. He made all of this,” he said after awhile, making a grand gesture to the greenery around them. He watched as her eyes followed his movements. “As for what an angel is, well, we are warriors, guardians, messengers,” he shrugged.
“And you’re one of these?”
“Yes,” he said at length.
She nodded, seeming to study him in return. “Why were you following me?”
“Oh, I meant no harm,” he paused, measuring his words. “I’m charged as your guardian,” he finished.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re just starting out. I’m supposed to watch over you, teach you if you need it. Though I wonder if you need instruction at all.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve already named most of the creatures in this garden. That was supposed to be Adam’s task, but--”
“Adam? What’s an Adam?”
Lucifer laughed. “He’s your counterpart. Well, not really your counterpart. He was the first human that Adonai made, he and Lilith anyway, but something went wrong. Adonai grew unhappy after he made her,” he paused, noticing Eve's blank stare. “Sorry. Lord Adonai charged Adam with naming the creatures in this garden, but he has shrugged the task away.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
Silence passed between them, eyes still locked onto each other. Lucifer pulled his eyes away and sighed. [i]What am I doing, he asked himself. Maybe I’m not the right one for this job.[/i]
“Are these good to eat?”
He looked up at her question, a gasp escaping his lungs. In one swift movement he lunged toward her, just in time to knock a round, red item from her hands.
“You mustn’t eat that!”
She said nothing, but jumped back from him, brown eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” she breathed.
“You must never eat from this tree. It’s best if you don’t even touch or look at it.”
“Why?” She asked, looking up at the tree. It seemed taller than those around it, the colors of it’s green leaves more brilliant and defined. It seemed a strange tree, as if it were as alive as she.
“It will kill you.”
He watched her head slowly turn to regard him, eyes growing wider. “Kill me?”
“Yes. It is called the Tree of Knowledge. It will steal the very force of life from anyone not divine.”
“Will it kill you?”
“No. I’m a divine being. Angels can eat of this tree without any effect. But you must put it from your mind. Please, promise me.”
“Alright, I promise,” she replied, her countenance returning to some form of serenity.
They quickly left the area, returning to the smaller clearing where they had started from. Not a syllable passed between them. He picked a few pears from a nearby tree and handed them to her in silence as they sat in the clearing. He watched her pick at the fruit, taking small bites at her leisure. He tilted his head toward the clouds. They were turning an opaque gray, blocking the once brilliant gold of the sun.
“What’s happening?” Eve asked, breaking the silence. She also must have noticed the change. He looked at her, offering a soft smile.
“Nothing that you need to worry about,” he said as something cold and wet fell on his cheek. More began to follow in increasing frequency. Eve only let out a faint cry, at which he stood to his feet. “This way,” he said as he took her by the arm and led her from the clearing.
Ω
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This 230 word review has not been unlocked.
Wow—your opening made me almost afraid to review this.
A couple of things I noticed that I think are awkward or need to be changed.
“As soon as she was able, she was soon on the move.” This sentence is worded awkwardly. I think it would work better as “As soon as she was able, she was on the move.” Conveys the same thought as the orginal, but flows more smoothly.
““You, behind that tree. Who are you?” She asked again, her tone firm, looking directly his way. Their eyes met; his hooked onto hers like a mosquito in amber. He slowly and timidly stepped out from behind the oak.
“You’ve been following me for a great distance. Who are you?”
There’s something about the construction of that which bothers me because it doesn’t seem to read right. Maybe if you add a “she said” to the last sentence it might improve the structure of the conversation.
I think I’ve read a chapter of this before. I like your premise, the way you turn the creation story upside down. God as the villain is a nice touch of irony, though he does not appear in this chapter.
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