Poetry / The Benefit of Nostalgia (Analysis)

Thank you, Jackie.

Hi Partico,

Not too picky at all; I appreciate the critique.  The current version (not loaded here atm) reads “drops lazily down”, though I am not sure how much improvement I have with that.  I was trying to hang on to my “d” sounds.  ;)

I have always wondered about “past” and “passed” and have not been able to find a satisfactorily authoritative stand on it.  I have seen the two words used interchangeably, and to be honest I have no idea which one is technically correct.

I think you’re right about the smells.  For me, at least, they bring up memory as fast or faster than anything else.  I’ll certainly consider such an addition.

Thank you for your time and the helpful comments!

Jeff

Much appreciated, Curt!
    
     I’m glad it made immediate sense to you; you have connected the title to the piece, and you’ve strung the piece together, in much the way I hoped readers might.  I have wondered if the memory recalled stands out as such and if the end is successful at drawing the narrator out of a trance and into a contemplative state.  Many thanks for the thoughtful comments!

It’s clearly contemplative and captures the moment of quiet nostalgia well—Like being stuck in traffic and sort of daydreaming until the car in front finally moves and the driver reaches their conclusion before pressing the gas pedal.

Also, “strut and fret” is kind of an unusual phrase and upon googling I see it’s from Shakespeare, which is cool. The way I interpreted it was that for the moment--forgetting to strut and fret--the narrator got lost in a memory. Yep, reflective.

-C

Much appreciated, Peter!  I ended up revising a few bits of this, but I like the overall sense of it.  I think I changed “plip-plipping” to “the fip-fap of maple cast-offs”, but I sort of like the plipping, too.  ;)  Thanks again!

I enjoy your style a lot, I am currently reading Yevtushenko and am very much entranced by this sort of poetry. Keep it up!

First off, thank you for the review.
    
     The ending is a reference to Shakespeare’s MacBeth:
    
“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.”
    
     So I want the strut and fret in there, and I sort of want to tell rather than show at the end… of course I am well aware of the maxim, and at times I still need to hear it, but in this case the idea is that the “show” is a memory… the images of heat, fishnet, wine… and the narrator is pulled from the memory at the end, back to the dry smoke of his cigarette as he looks to the moon.  And he realizes the benefit of nostalgia, of letting the world go quiet and drifting back in one’s mind to another place.
    
     That’s not to say I did that in just the right way, but that was the idea.  ;)  I’ll look at ‘er again.

Thanks!

That is, the “tell” of seasons past is the prior stanza, and forgetting to strut and fret is a way of saying that all people strut and fret (as per Shakespeare) and that nostalgia may cause one to forget about the worries of the world for a while.

Thanks J.F.!  There is a bit of sound play here; I’m happy that it works.  :)

I’ve revised again… not sure how many revisions I’m up to.  Might have to leave it alone soon.  ;)  I appreciate the helpful comments and the praise as well, of course.  Hopefully the changes address the muddle towards the end!  Not sure if this box will hold my line breaks properly, but here she be:

“The Benefit of Nostalgia

Rain-laden leaves drop slowly down,
balls of brown sugar in still air,
suspended in the amber streetlamp’s glow.

All lights long since switched off,
house by house, on Rainbow Road –
lips and engines hushed, waiting.

All noise is water now –

The swashing lake behind the ranch,
a fizzle of mist on dead leaves,
maple cast-offs that fip-fap on asphalt.

The wash of water waxes orchestral
before stage scenes of the mind –
summer sweat, red wine and black fishnet.

Hand-rolled smoke frames the waning moon –
Lost in seasons past that lit my way,
I, for a time, forget to strut and fret.”

No, not muddled! The revision is clearer, maybe, but not better than the version I read first. The work is an awesome combination of images, like a work of art…don’t change it too much for clarity’s sake—it’s wonderful.

McKinley

Lovely of you to say so!  Thank you again.  I’ll make a point of taking a look at your work as well.