Basically run it through the a sift. Thanks for the feedback.
Poetry / The Art in Me (Analysis)
I am a painter with no brush, a sculptor with no marble, a musician without an instrument and a muse without a clue. A colorful collection of mass produced ideology interwoven with the laughter of cynicism.
In a world where so many clamor for the attention of the masses I only seek the indulgence of a few. A small favor to be done on my behalf. I ask that when you look into me and hear a cacophony that comes from the symphony of my life; that you strain to hear the lone violin whose notes ring long, pure and true. The song it plays is the ever changing melody of my heart. It belies the desires and dreams that lay deep within; to be something more then what they say I can be.
I want you to see the stains that litter the canvas of my soul are not unwanted or denied. I feel less like they are the black marks of sin and more like they are the brush strokes of a greater painting in progress. A Mona Lisa minus the smile, a Van Gogh with both ears intact and a Sistine Chapel without the sanctity.
To use my scars as hand holds, my faults as landmarks and my failures as road signs on the journey to the truth that lies just under my skin. Beneath all that makes up the person I have become, I struggle to adhere to a high standard and a righteous purpose. My goal is not to dispose of the eye sore, the ugly or the undesirable in me. It is to combine it in a collage with my strengths, hopes and intent. Form it into an image that does not require adoration, only understanding.
In the end I wish to bring all that I am together in a masterful mix of things I know will never blend well. To make a mockery of the weight stones I wear around my neck and liberate myself through the understanding and acknowledgement of the outside observer.
This thing I ask is less a favor and more a plea...a plea to see the art in me.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 157 word review has not been unlocked.
tkarma reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I believe this could be called a prose poem. The message is clear and concise. Not a wasted word or image. Wonderful! The piece speaks, IMHO, to all artists, whatever our craft. The pace is unyielding and carried me along on a current of sentiment I would have followed anywhere. I found myself in this piece, it spoke to me; I could see my scars,stains, and faults and that is the hallmark of a great piece of writing.I didn’t stumble or fall out of the piece anywhere. This is a winner:)
Peace and Be Well
Tina
the stains that litter the canvas of my soul
brush strokes of a greater painting in progress.
use my scars as hand holds, my faults as landmarks and my failures as road signs
- add/view comments (0)
crimsonarchon reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I realize that this is free-form, but in order for it to really grip me, to involve me emotionally (it already involves me intellectually), it really needs to be distilled, pared down. Take some of the more powerful concepts, such as that voiced by “the truth that lies just under my skin,” and condense and clarify them.
As a creative exercise, which is what free-form writing generally is, it is quite excellent. With a goodly amount of editing and restructuring (filtering, if you will), it could also be a most excellent conventional poem. Please pare this down and submit a second, more directed, draft. I would love to see you make progress with this.
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
3 Reviews 1 Comment
Version 1
Latest Activity: 12 months ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 2 Times
Ratings & Rankings
