Poetry / Warped

A fragile frame rebels against the mind. Fighting a twisted tormentor, that lurks behind delicate features. Big green eyes peer anxiously, into a judge in a gilded frame. Boney fingers pinch, folds of imagined substance. Perfection endangering life. Hunger cut out, by cruel, ignorant mutterings. Words dropped like sharp stones, slicing as they fell. Once bright shiny green orbs, now tarnished, haunted and dull. Fashion media in its destructive glory. Barrages of images, assailing an impressionable mind. Waifish beauties, plastered across the psyche. The unattainable goal, becomes a life’s work. Pain beats out a tortured rhythm in surrounding hearts. Love casts secret glances, wishing to see the girl that once was. Presence of the knight, breaths all is well to a frozen heart. A safe-house found, in warm welcoming arms. Life’s sounds fade away, the composer has lowered his baton. What remains is the thunderous cadenza, of two tangled hearts beating in unison, as she clings to her savior.

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Reviews

October 23, 2008

jadedpoet

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
353	77.3% (75 votes)	26.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	M	Norcross, GA	November 18

jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Hi again,

So let’s give this another try, eh. Maybe this time it will ‘stick’. What I said the first time around is that you pack so much emotional ‘push’ in this piece. Kind of like a big punch in your face feel. I would adore to see you reformat this into a stanza format. For one, it would read less like a short story and more like your intended poem. You possess a most natural flair for writing. You draw great, wonderful visuals throughout the entire piece. Such flavour, such colour. I only wish I had your talent base at such an age as yours. I loved the line “Once bright shiny orbs, now tarnished, haunted and dull.” What a natural killer gift you have. me…