Short Story / Watcher in the room
the golden glow of the sunlight beats down upon her brow, glistening as she furrows it in concentration, gazing intently upon the piece she is still sketching. the image is irrelevant, sometimes it is jewelry, sometimes clothes, but still just a collection of lines, pale in comparison with the drawer.
her eyes sparkle like the glow of the sea shining upon the bottom of a cavern, showing that her latest piece is done. her faint smile bringing life to her face, giving it a joyful look.
the clouds drift across the sky, Looking as if they were little lost sheep waiting for the shepherding sun to heard them, of which it never will, similar to how the ranting of the teacher in the air never manages to upset the drawer.
sometimes, I wish to capture this moment, the carefree innocence of the life she wishes to live, to let her escape into her world of drawings and cloud-sheep, but alas.
sometimes my wish comes true, and I escape into blissful oblivion, thinking of nothing but the drawer, her pencil sketching across the page like her fingers on a lovers skin. stopping at important points to emphasize the feelings, to thicken the ties between reality and this blissful dream.
however, I know this is all a dream, and that without a doubt the dream will fade, and the watcher will soon become the watched, as she looks up and notices the glazed look upon my eyes, as hers shrink to focus on mine.
I bow my head quickly.
too quickly.
She’s already noticed as I begin to bloom like a beetroot fresh from the tin.
what a shame it is, that she will never understand why I watch her so.
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‘the piece is is still sketching’ (I’m not sure but did you mean:
the piece she is still ??)
“the clouds drift across the sky, looking like little lost sheep waiting for the sun to heard them” (every time a read this line I found it a bit hard to read.. and kept getting this in my mind:
‘Looking as if they were little lost sheep waiting for the shepherding sun to heard them,’ very nice imagery though. ☺ )
Spelling errors:
irrelivant – irrelevant
lastest – latest
stoping – stopping
emphasise – emphasize
Shes - she’s
Notcied – Noticed
to thicken the ties between reality and dream. ( maybe consider adding an ‘s’ to dream? It reads a whole lot smoother. With it than without it. But then again I could be wrong)
what a shame that she will never understand why i watch her so.
I don’t want to change any of your own original words but sometimes it is needed
‘What a shame it is, that she will never’ sound better worse? Solely your choice to change this ☺
Over all it is beautiful, absolutely amazing! Keep up the good work Hin.
♥ Sanura
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