Non-fiction / Understanding the Fight Pt 2 (Analysis)

Their conversation was getting deep. She could tell that he was different. He was actually an intellectual person. She could hold a serious conversation with him and actually be challenged by him and his ideas, causing her to think about things differently.

“You know what that saying is… ‘wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first.’ Wishes are nice to look at but they suck. Two in one hand is better than one in the bush. I like logic and cut and dry. No expectations, no disappointments.” He explained it to her as if it flowed off his tongue like silk; smooth and easy.

“If you insist, but I still like wishes. It leaves room for hope,” she replied, thinking she was going to get one over on him.
“Hope leaves you with the false expectation that you can have anything and everything. I’m a firm believer that only when you’ve truly lost everything are you truly free to do anything. I’ve written countless papers on things of this sort. I know what I believe and why I believe it. But does that come off as cocky?” he retorted.

Buheit had her there. “Not at all. Over the years I’ve learned not to expect anything but the lowest from people. That way, when they don’t come through for me and let me down, I can’t be disappointed. It’s a favorite quote of mine actually. I guess there’s a part of me that always has hope that people will surprise me someday. That the things that I dream about can be real and I wont have to have my guard up and come off as a bitch to people. So that, I can be myself around them and actually let them know the real me.” She paused because she knew he was right and was about to help him prove his point… “But so far, all hope has gotten me is a broken heart and a four year contract.”

He was silent for a moment, as if thinking of a smart ass response. She hoped he wasn’t too harsh on her, she had after all, just opened up to him more than she had anyone else in a very long time. Then, a small smile came to his face.

“’A broken heart and a four year contract,’ I like that.” Maybe he’d won the conversation, but she’d made a valid point that made him stop and think. She knew what he was thinking. This wasn’t their first conversation. Previously she’d learned that he’d been engaged upon enlisting in the Army, then, when graduating Basic Training, he found out that his fiancé cheated on him when he was away. She couldn’t help but relate, because their situation was identical. Her now ex fiancé though, had written her The Letter of Letters. He proclaimed his love for her, then that he cheated, and again proclaimed his love for her. Her and Buheit were two of a kind. Battle buddies in more than one way, and hopefully in the future, one more way.

She had a lot to be grateful for though. The Army had given her a lot. It had also taken a lot from her. Her now ex-fiancé told her when she broke up with him, that she threw everything away when she joined the Army. She lost her best friend because civilian friends just didn’t understand the way that Army friends did. She lost the freedom to do to her body what she wanted, tattoos and piercings now had to be approved. As if she wasn’t giving her country her life, but she needed permission to get a tattoo. Government property in every way. She’d made up a saying about the Army and everything it put her through. “I never thought that anal would be a choice, but after taking it up the ass by uncle same enough times, I’m starting to reconsider.” It was vulgar and blunt, but true.

“I may not make sense all the time, but when I do, I can make a good point or two,” she said.

“Sometimes,” he replied, and walked away, leaving her to her own devices once again.

She still had 8 hours of CQ left, and more on her mind now, than she’d had in a while. At least it was something to keep her occupied and a prevent her from falling asleep.

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