Poetry / A City of Light
A welcoming, warm breeze
Whistles through a broken quiet.
A song like a whisper,
Spoken in solemn sound;
“Fly me to the moon,
Let me play among the stars”.
A subtle mumble,
Under the roar
Of people in a hurry.
The wind carries
Their drunken laughter aloft,
A flirtatious babble ensues,
Unrequited by tongues of drought.
Their faces blurred out,
By blinding flashes
Of every bright light.
All colors cast,
In a host
Of iridescent depth.
Modern-day mountains
Breach the sky,
Their heads in the clouds
Singing all aloud;
“Fly me to the moon,
Let me play among the stars”.
On the ground,
The nocturnal seek
Their final comedown.
One last moment
Of ecstasy,
Before temptation
Loses its embrace.
Sin buries its lust
In a city of light.
It carries its dreams
In hands of thirst,
Awakened and restless
The city thrives.
High above,
A different chord.
One not tainted,
One not scarred;
"Fly me to the moon,
Let me play among the stars”.
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“Modern-day mountains” what a sad description of the city. I like this piece, but to me it seems more a lamentation of city life. Nice imagery.
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I too am a cock-eyed optimist after seeing social malady, tainted reality.You have a poet’s heart. Learn to further define your words and phrases to create pictures.ex: “people in a hurry” might be like scurrying chipmunks or hasty herds of humanity..play some..We all revise..Thanks
This poem is a very clear journey into the blur of other-worldliness—it’s very pleasant even though it’s not sweet or romantic in a traditional sense.
“On the ground the nocturnal seek their final comedown” – I especially like this image. Your word choice and length of lines carries me through every color and emotion. The scene is painted very well here. Very enjoyable!
McKinley
i read ur poem and i thought it was very good. i liked how you decribed alot into it, like a painting. it was very good.
There is an uplifting theme running throughout this piece with lots of talk of mountains, moons, stars, sky and clouds, there is a lot of ‘up’ featured in this and it gives a nice postivie spin making this city sound a good place to be.
I think the ammount of punctuation restricts the flow a bit and the whole uplifting thing would be a lot more believable if there was no punctuation to confine the emotions to the lines on the page.
Other than that it is very effective and I really enjoyed reading it.
this poem is one of the best one i have read!
Awesome, I really enjoyed the imagery in this. Beautifully written and the repition worked so very well, which is difficult to pull off. Kudos indeed.
There is something almost spiritual about this. The title and reference to the stars. Perhaps a poetic reference to the concept of heaven?
Curious use of the “City of Light”. Normally, I think it would reference heaven, however my take from this is that you are using it to describe a place more like Sodom.
In either event, this is a very nice work and you have developed it nicely from your depiction of the place, to the people, their activities and then another place.
Not sure “Old Blue Eyes” would like having his song referred to as “spoken in a solemn sound” though. ;>)
Ok, I guess I don’t quite understand everything you are saying in this piece. I kind of understand that you are saying things are actually dark in the city within all the bright lights and fakeness?
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