Poetry / Insomnia of Wakeful Visions
Insomnia of wakeful visions
Incisions upon my eyes like gentle strokes upon my thighs,
Lids that droop and rise to my neuron sparks
colliding in the night.
Words that copulate, and keep me up.
A migration from the mindful maps beyond the silence.
This long standing eruption within cloudy hidden skies
that deprive me of a sleep I have no craving for.
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I like the use of the themes of chaos and collision fueling your arousal. Also, the idea of deprivation from unwanted things. It appears at first to be sometihing of a comlaint against the thoughts, but after stepping back, I begin to think you are thankful. I think your punctuation is working against you, it doesn’t seem to fulfil its purpose; to express the completion or continuation of the sentence. I couldn’t tell whether or not to feel the pause at line breaks or punctuation points. I loved the general feel of it though. I think all of us who write know this feeling quite well.
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