Hi Elle
Thanks for reviewing.
I recognise that it’s a bit tricky when you’ve read parts 1 and 7. If you can stand it read all 8 and then be as harsh as you like.
Cheers
Tony.
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Diary of a Wannabe - Part 7
If this carries on I'll end up like poor old Adolf. He topped six million and no one knew about it at the time. It must have driven him bonkers. At least now we recognise his contribution. Like any artist, recognition post mortem.
So. Nursery Rhymes or Freezers? That is the question. Perhaps a notelet to the News of the World or Percy Plod might get things moving. Liquid paraffin for their little grey cells perhaps.
Dear Editor
You reported recently on a missing young lady by the name of Georgina A. and another by the name of Polly B. I've not written before as I feared you may consider me just a silly old woman with too much time on my hands. I read with interest the details you published regarding young Polly, from the tea-shop, and the way she just disappeared after finishing work, and also about the disgusting sexual proclivities of that horrid Georgina person.
I had a dream where their disappearances were linked in some way. I have to tell you that since I retired I've gained quite a reputation amongst the other ladies at the WI as being something of a psychic.
In my dream, both of these ladies were being held in what appeared to be an Edwardian child's playroom, complete with a Mary Poppins type figure, with rhyming couplets written on all the walls. What could it mean?
Yours sincerely Mrs Leia Little.
Too vague for them? Initially, of course, but with follow up letters, and my "dreams" becoming more detailed they must catch on eventually.
Dear Plod
The body found in a freezer at a council dump.
Did it have a used by date on it’s bottom?
Was she frigid?
It’ll be a cold day in hell before you catch me.
Yours Iceman.
How to choose? Eeny Meeny Miney Mo. Catch a..... Of course! That might be fun. A little girlie schwarzer. It fits perfectly with the nursery rhymes but isn't so blindingly obvious that it wouldn't fit nicely if I went with the freezer motif. Chicken George? Thanks, Mildred, I don't mind if I do! It'll throw any profiler into absolute confusion.
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bickle reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi,
As always, I end up being in the deep end and not knowing what the hell is going on!! My problem, not yours!
I will find the other parts and hopefully fill in the gaps. With that said, I still managed (I Hope!) to kind of get the trend of the story… A medium or/and a serial killer…. Ironically, there was a Hitman who worked for the mob called Iceman, not a very nice man.
Your character rambles were interesting enough for me to try and seek further into that world.
See you and keep chilled!
Bickle
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EllePepper reviewed Version 1 -
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Don’t really know what to think since a two page slice is hard to judge the merit of. So far, I sort of like it, but without any concrete details I am lost. I know this is in the middle but there is absolutely NO visual imagery. I’m a visual thinker, I’m blind unless you describe it to me.
oknapp reviewed Version 1 -
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If this carries on I’ll end up like poor old Adolf. He topped six million and no one knew about it at the time
Tony, what do you mean? Are you talking about numbers? or are you saying he killed in secret. Do you mean Hitler? He had someone else do his dirty work. but was responsible for the death of six Million poor Jews. He was a real horror story. Might you use a diffrent killer? I hope he rots in hell.
just disappeared. Take out just.
I like the idea of the physcic, but i hate the Hitler reference. Tony It takes away from your comedic style and puts the reader in a bad mood. It just doesn’t suit the rest of your carefully honed work. I hate to interject this but what of your jewish readers? This reference is too hard edged. What you are doing here is trying to do here is think like serial killer. If you write the papers as a muddled old physic you will have done something i don’t believe has ever been done before. I like this idea. Let me know what you think, Sandi
jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi there,
And you didn’t even tell me Part 7 was posted! Shame! That aside, you have hooked me good now, damn you, for I need part 8 man, now!
Your pure cleverness about refering to the body in the freezer having a ‘to use by date’ on it was awesome. Your such a clever little snip, aren’t we?
Okay, okay, Part 8 is coming out when??? me…
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