Poetry / Scraps of discontent

The message is universal as we all know stress and dissaproval all to well.
for instance people like myself changing lines and words in your work that came from your Soul and expressed without hesitation here for others to accept or dissaprove and hopefully be intelligently honest in their reasons.

I really like it and hope you don’t mind if I….....enjoy the message and change a few lines.

My life is so stressed,completly worn down

I crave for acceptance, in rejection I drown

The world and it’s demons are not on the run

They seek the light, but stray from the sun.

Life is insane, but we all understand.

Love is essential, but sex a demand

Lover’s lost should stay in the past

Move on to new things wise men do it fast

You traded your dreams for a Heart now broken

On the truth of the shame your existence is choking

Just for a moment your inconvenienced by rain

as this life giving downpour washes away all your pain

Hi Rach,

Please do NOT get angry with me here. I want to add and modify a few things so for me, it is just easier to rewrite it, smack me if you must. stu…

The stress of life is wearing me down.

I keep looking for acceptance, only receiving frowns.

The world has it’s many demons, but no one chooses to run.

They seek the lights answers, but stray from the sun.

Life is insane, so very few truly understand.

Love is the lone essential, but sex, in ceaseless demand.

Lover’s souls lost, are never missed or needed,

But the wise man’s words are to ever be headed..

Life is given up for the many “broken hearts”,

For once crushed to bits, they never know where to restart

For the real truth brings us all to shame.

Rain tatters against each glass, like tears running down each pane

I only wish it were this easy, to wash away my pain…

Rach, like I said, you are most welcome to punch me…

• add/view comments (2)

September 21, 2008

by Chaos

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
70	80.0% (30 votes)	40.3%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
25	F	Joplin, MO	August 17

No punching, lol.
“Love is essential, but sex, a ceaseless demand. ” I think sounds a little better. I like it.  I actually like a lot of your ideas, but the last 2 lines are awesome. That’s just what I needed. Thank you!
Look forward to your review in the rewrite, I’ll wait for some more reviews first though.
Rach

September 23, 2008

by jadedpoet

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
353	77.3% (75 votes)	26.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	M	Norcross, GA	November 18

you are most welcome my dear…

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