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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Stuck (Analysis)
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? It’s the kind of love that makes you feel nauseous, all the time, especially when you realize you’ve been thinking about that person for over an hour. Then when you’re around that person, you always manage to be nonchalant about everything: No, I don’t care if you want me to stay. Do you want me to stay? No, I don’t mind running extra errands with you. Do you mind? Sure, it’s fine if we go bungee jumping off a cliff. I’ve got nothing better to do, anyway.
Yeah, it’s like that.
This is the best and worst kind of love. It’s teasing, amazing, confusing, beautiful, crazy, and wonderful, all at the same time. You don’t know if the person likes you back, the way you like them. You’re afraid to ask. You’re afraid to even hint. You imagine what would happen if they did love you. You reassure yourself that every little look, touch, and conversation really means something. When they smile, it definitely means they like me. When they poke and tickle my ribs, surely they’re flirting with me. When we stare into each others eyes, there’s no doubt that we see into each others’ souls.
I’m in a bit of a predicament.
I love someone, and it is this type of love that has slowly taken over my life for the past four years. I cannot (will not) stop thinking about this person, I cannot (will not) help how I feel about this someone, and I cannot (will not) sleep until this problem is solved.
So just tell them already, right?
Wrong.
This person has no clue about how I feel about them, as far as I can tell. I’m their best friend, and I’ve worked very hard to get to this level. I cannot (will not) just throw it all away. I cannot (will not) scare them off. I cannot (will not) give up hope. I mean, what if they like me back?
What if they don’t?
Her name is Amelia.
My name is Arielle.
Why does gender have to make us who we are?
”For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another” – 1 John 3:11.
Then why do I feel so wrong?
People always say, “you can’t expect your first love to love you back”. Perhaps they should change it to, “you can’t expect your first lust to lust you back”? If the two are so different, then why is it so hard to tell them apart?
Love (noun): a caring and passionate feeling for another person or thing
Lust (noun): an intense desire for someone or something
...What if the two are together? What is that called?
Lost.
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Liasonwithtragedy reviewed Version 1 -
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cavscoutgh75 reviewed Version 1 -
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Overall, I will have to rate this a 7-8. I like the way you write it. You write it as if you are talking to a friend and you make it easier to imagine you talking to me as that friend. So many times you read something written and it’s hard to imagine the closeness of the conversation.
I like your discussion (thoughts) about love vs. lust. We all go through this inner turmoil when faced with a potential relationship. Now for some unsought after advice…you should tell this person. If you are true friends, then it will be taken correctly, no matter the out come.
Keep writing, I expect, and look forward to seeing good things from you.
Gerry
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dracodude90 reviewed Version 1 -
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I really connected with this one. Not so much as the whole gender issue, but the feeling of being lost and hopeless while, at the same time, every time you see them you feel just…weightless. You don’t want them to know in fear that they will reject you. But at the same time you can’t help but hope that at ant given moment they will leap into your arms and you will live happily ever after. It’s a joyous feeling, but you also feel as though your heart is being stabbed endlessly by a thousand daggers. I think that this is expertly written for it’s purpose. Every passing word gave me more of an insight into your very being until I could almost see this person. Again, very well written. It’s passionate, and doesn’t dwell on insignificant details.
SMRB reviewed Version 1 -
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The ending is so true.Lost. I always wondered how this word was derived.
Back to the content,and its presentation.Excellent. As I read I was taken back to a love that I had and another did not.It was very difficult to approach not to mention try to figure out. With each word I found myself further in the past remembering going through this same thing,except for one difference,I was and still am a guy, and she was and still is a chick.
The way you set up the readers to feel hopelessly romantic in a heterosexual kind of way was perfect.There was no room to change ones judgement regarding male/female or female/female love.Great JOB
slam710711 reviewed Version 1 -
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Love has no programme or set of rules.
You cannot quantify what will or will not happen. In my modest opinion all you can do if celebrate the fact that you are at least capable of loving someone that intensely. I know its small comfort but I think all experiences are sent to test us.
Steve
jeells reviewed Version 1 -
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Definitely true. You switch perspective at an odd time. You may (or may not) want to look at that. Good description of the feeling- something we can all relate to on some level. I would like to hear more specifics, just to put the experience into context. Good work.
JuneLyte reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow very nicely done!
I could feel the passion in your writing, the whole desire to explain what you needed to get out if not for anyone than for yourself.
It was lovely, well done.
BlueDemoness reviewed Version 1 -
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I love the honesty and frankness of thoughts well formed into a journal, but it would make a great poem as well. Its universal emotions that make it accessible to most people reading it. I also enjoyed the insertion of quotes. I enjoyed this read. Thank you.
gbryananderson reviewed Version 1 -
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I am giving you high marks because this is the first J/D/B I have reviewed. Plz. add me as friend.
You can go several ways with this: first, research prose-poetry, it is firt person narrative with limitless instructions regarding poetry.
Or you can slash and burn this down to a bone, for example, ” /Her name is Amelia./My name is Arielle./Why does gender have to make us who we are?/ I think these are your most powerful lines. A new poem deserves these as a first line.
Please revise, despite high marks. Blessings, Gregory
starla77 reviewed Version 1 -
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I think I didn’t really get the message of this piece. In the first part, your “problem” is: tell or not tell the person you like that you do. You seem to ask advice about what to do, but then you give yourself a negative answer:”I cannot (will not) just throw it all away”, so in the end, you don’t have any problem, because you have already made a decision. But at the same time, you talk about “hope”, what hope? “what if they like me back?”, I think this is exactly what you want, why are you asking this? I think there are some missing logical steps here.
Then in the second part, you open the question about the difference between love and lust, totally changing the direction of the piece. So I think you’d better clarify or add lines to explain better this shift from the first subject to the second one.
I think this could be good as a poem, because it’s about your feelings and what’s deep inside of you, but you have to be sure of what you want to say.
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