Poetry / Food for the soul

The combination of “nutrition” and “live” is effective. Reinforcing the importance of each. well-rounded and interesting.

Capitalization of the T and full stop after “nutrition”? Just a thought.

very powerful and insightful 6 words
i would play with them a bit, maybe space them out

something like:

take my pain
as nutrition
live.

this is just because it would force the reader to really think about what they’re reading.

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August 03, 2008

by destined2bgreat

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great feedback thank you

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I take this as a “learn from my mistakes” statement.  But WAY less contrived.  I love it.  I can almost hear it in a romantic comedy.

personally – i love it.  but i think non-catholics or other Christians will not associate with it well.  creatively – a border not many dare cross – so bravo!  even without the intro – i think it’s genius!  and perhaps change “live” to a different word – like “learn” “feed” something like that.  however – i do love it exactly as is!!  :)

I am very interested in taking others pain to help me to live.I enjoyed this little statement.
Willie

It’s tough to take nutrition when you don’t know what you’re eating. If there was a way to refine what advice you’re giving, I’d like this a lot more. Tough to do in 6 words i know. But I think it would be better even to give a general idea.

Do as I say, not did.

Hell, I dunno, how can I critique six words.  Just feels too much, maybe the need for the exclamation, openly, implicitly acknowledging that maybe for this thought, six is just not enough.

Inspired!