That is definetly a good idea. I appreciate the creativity in your review!
(I just might have to do it!)
Quotes / A loner
I remember what it’s like to feel alone. I don’t like it that much. The funny thing is, I only remember when I’m around people.
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Souldierpoet reviewed Version 1 -
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I like this, short and funny. And sooo true.
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ParticoRomulus reviewed Version 1 -
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It’s not clear at all what you’re saying here. The first sentence is clear enough, but not liking ‘it’ in the second sentence could refer to remembering or to actually being alone. In any event, that second sentence is very weak in terms of expressing any feeling. It needs to be declarative, not tentative. Finally, the last sentence is a real head-scratcher. In a strict sense, you could only remember what it’s like to feel alone when you’re not, otherwise you’re not remembering, you’re BEING alone. If that’s you’re intention, I have to say ‘so what?’ What’s so funny about that? If your intention is to evoke something else, it really misfires in confusion.
Corruptedstatic reviewed Version 1 -
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It is when your around others that you feel most alone? You see your difference to others and feel completley alienated. The writer I feel is stuck in a state of opposites where he/she chooses sides and instead of seeing how he/she can contribute to others and society this person compares themselves to others and looks for differences. Hence validating there own self alienated self image. This is a powerful piece, and a testament to how many others feel about themselves and how they are trapped in, overlooking actual facts, adopting a negative perception, reinforcing that perception by obsessive thinking, getting lost in the pain without looking for a way out, and comparing themselves to others. This can build up a sense of unreality until it seems totally real. I’m sad for the writer but I truly hope you can step back and find that your truly not alone. This piece is memorable and maybe one of the best quotes i’ve read. Great job. and Good luck. With respect. -Corruptedstatic.
Blue_Eyes reviewed Version 1 -
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I would suggest removing “I don’t like it that much.”, and keeping the other two sentences intact. I think that this would add a bit of ambiguity to the quote and allow readers to form there own opinions. Take care. :)
Gavinswar reviewed Version 1 -
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This is odd, I think you want to be alone when amoung others? is that right? kinda like grass greener across the way. I feel it needed to be a little more focused but its on the right track, its got a point but its not quite as clear as it could be.
Gavinswar
CourtshipLives reviewed Version 1 -
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so then it really doesnt make a difference
cooljim102055 reviewed Version 1 -
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hi there,
which could be a good thing, you appreciate the company…or of course..wishing you were alone again, being around people, a not so good thing, i usually like to pick a side,,when you don’t it seems like your just contridicting urself, trying to be cute or clever with a few words..(and i am not saying you did that….:)...hope i helped,,,jim,
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