Poetry / Florida Summer

Burned into faint by the white-hot faces,
In the crowd is a sun among stars
And revival is in the paralyzing cold
Of his popsicled lips.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

Sort Reviews by  Newest |  Oldest |  Highest Quality |  Lowest Quality |  Newest Comments | 

 
annette avatar Random Review

January 06, 2009

annette

personal info reviewer stats
annette reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This took me a couple of reads before I got it but was well worth it. I love the juxtaposition of metaphors: dark and light, hot and cold, faint and revival. And the popsicled lips add another kind of heat at the end.
Nicely done.

jadedpoet avatar Random Review

January 06, 2009

jadedpoet

personal info reviewer stats
jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Hi there, hope this review finns you well.

I made a comment about one of your other fine pieces being too short and here I am , reading a single stanza. I look at it this way, you have talent so spread your wings girl. Toss the timid and hammer out more work. Your ability to create such great imagery here is killer. Harder to do yet, being so short. I dunno, you have a quirky gift and I want to see more of your work. You and I both know you have much to say. It shows that here. I love the creativity behind the last line here. Adding a particular flavour may have been cool as well. Please continue to write and post. I look forward to reading more of your soul. me…

bulletwithbutterflywings avatar General Friend

December 28, 2008

bulletwithbutterflywings

personal info reviewer stats
bulletwithbutterflywings reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

i really enjoyed this poem. the imagery is amazing. “Burned into faint by the white-hot faces” this line is the only one that struck me as being difficult to grasp. everything else, i enjoyed. i really have no other critique for you. i think it’s a wonderfully written poem, it’s simple and short.

Showing 1 - 3 of 3

Creator
plummouthsong avatar

plummouthsong

Age: 19
Loc: Jacksonville, FL
Gen: F
Last Login: August 05
Relevant Links
Item Stats

GENERAL

3 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 10 months ago

REVIEW QUEUE

Appeared in Queue: 11 Times
Skipped: 6 Times
Large_criteria Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity