thanks. im glad you like my work. I’m also glad you want more, but I’ve been writing for a long time and i think youre confusing my short poems with some sort of shyness. I am infact a shy person but it doesnt have much to do with the length of my poems. most times the end of the poem is the end of the thought. but not to worry some of my poems are long.
Poetry / Florida Summer
Burned into faint by the white-hot faces,
In the crowd is a sun among stars
And revival is in the paralyzing cold
Of his popsicled lips.
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This took me a couple of reads before I got it but was well worth it. I love the juxtaposition of metaphors: dark and light, hot and cold, faint and revival. And the popsicled lips add another kind of heat at the end.
Nicely done.
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Hi there, hope this review finns you well.
I made a comment about one of your other fine pieces being too short and here I am , reading a single stanza. I look at it this way, you have talent so spread your wings girl. Toss the timid and hammer out more work. Your ability to create such great imagery here is killer. Harder to do yet, being so short. I dunno, you have a quirky gift and I want to see more of your work. You and I both know you have much to say. It shows that here. I love the creativity behind the last line here. Adding a particular flavour may have been cool as well. Please continue to write and post. I look forward to reading more of your soul. me…
i really enjoyed this poem. the imagery is amazing. “Burned into faint by the white-hot faces” this line is the only one that struck me as being difficult to grasp. everything else, i enjoyed. i really have no other critique for you. i think it’s a wonderfully written poem, it’s simple and short.
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