Poetry / All (Analysis)

In the future it would be nice if restricted yourself from adding only three review sections.  I didn’t respond well to the piece. I found myself viscerally annoyed at the use of alphabetic repetition. It seemed superficial. Also the narrative and format of the poem bounces around too much for my taste. Some lines are more established in the natural world while others are really abstract. I didn’t understand the reason for the switch.

In short, I didn’t really understand it.

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July 20, 2008

by IntenseTigerGirl

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	16.7% (6 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
33	F	Wichita, KS	July 21

Your perception is most appreciated. This was my first attempt of the straight line alpha poem. I would like to continue with this style; but you are right, it needs improved structure. Thanks!

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Nicely blended and flowing.  It captures the varied yet clear desire for people who want all.

It seems like THE SECRET. But there’s truth in it.
I like Ancient prophecies already foretold.
And another mystery allowed fruition.
I  think it’s an exercise in using A’s, but it works.
Publishable? In the right magazine.

I appracite what you’re trying to do here, but it doesn’t really fit together. When I was in 7t hgradem we had to write portfolios for the school. I wanted to submit a poem that I had written, but I teacher told me that I was forcing a square into a circular hole. That’s sort of what your doing here, not using words specifically for their meanings, but because the fit and might also be able to lend a little bit of meaning to the overall piece. My advice? Don’t focus on such a limited piece, unless you really FEEL the flow.

I have to laugh, because all of the “A”s in this piece nearly gave me a panic attack. That’s a cool effect, and the effort was good, and it was quite a creative piece.

The only problem I have with it as a publishable poem, though, is that it’s a bit too abstract. I know that we are taught to think of poetry as abstract, but really, it should convey an image, a picture of a moment, and I don’t get that here. The pairs of words themselves have a little meaning together, but as a whole, I can’t collect any kind of story or image from this piece, and that may be a bit of a problem.

Hmm…. unique, I can give you that. This was good, complicated… but good. Has a kind of flow to it..