Sci Fi & Fantasy / the untreaded path- chapter 3 (Analysis)
3
Watching the Rose
Opening my eyes, and fighting a major migraine, I tried to gather my thoughts. Where the hell was I? Sitting up, I gazed around the room, for it was a room. I was in a tent, black, and on a mattress bed covered with a white quilt. A quilt? In this weather? Then Savio walked in holding a cup of water and everything came back. I remembered our conversation and my choice of accepting Father Echo’s gift. I lifted my shirt; I had placed my hand on my stomach before I blacked out.
My stomach was smooth, muscular and tattooed. Tattooed? On my stomach was the design of a red rose. Its stem curved halfway round my bellybutton; starting from the bottom, bending to the top. The stem was colored green with yellow-green thorns arching skyward, displaying their points. A single leaf flowed away from the stem determined to show its independence. The bloom itself was full and red; the same shade changing red the thorn had turned when entering my hand.
I rubbed my hand over the tattoo, not quite believing it. The petals shimmered underneath my fingers; it was beautiful!
“Wow,” Savio said. He was staring wide eyed at my stomach; I don’t think he believed it either. “That’s a magic trick I need to learn! Why did you choose your stomach?”
I let my shirt fall and got up, taking the forgotten cup of water from Savio’s hands; I had one hell of a hangover! Savio’s voice was echoing around my head without mercy. I had finished the water and put a finger to my lips, telling him to talk quieter.
“You had too much Kiwi Wine, girl,” Savio said, almost whispering. “I agree its good, but damn does it pack a punch in the morning!”
Not daring to move my head I gave him thumbs up. We moved into the front room where the fire burned.
“What time is it?” I whispered.
“An hour after sunset,” Savio answered, a little too loudly.
I winced, “All day?”
He nodded, understanding my short sentences. He passed me a plate of eggs and an ice pack; I took both gratefully. After the eggs I fell back asleep on Savio’s guest cot and didn’t wake until the next morning. Feeling incredibly better I went to find Savio. He was at the fireplace eating a sandwich.
“I hope you’re up to talking today,” he said, not looking up, “Else I’ll have to toss you out on your ass. You’re eating up all my food!”
“Ya, but you have a cooling stone,” I remembered the sticky heat in my tent and loathed the hour when I had to go back.
“Maybe I should just give you the stone. That’ll make sure you’ll never come back!”
“Don’t offer unless you mean it!” I got myself some appa juice and refused to sit down. My legs felt like they were being jabbed with needles every time I stopped moving; I needed to go out for a walk. Savio nodded, his mouth being too full to speak. He swallowed, “So, why did you choose your stomach?”
I shrugged, “If I want it covered, it’s covered. If I want to show it, I can and I won’t be bothered.”
“You gonna tell anybody else?”
I paused. I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet, I was still worrying about Father Echo. Should I tell someone? Who would I tell? I’d tell Raza but would it be a good idea? I mentally kicked myself; was any of this a good idea? Hell no it wasn’t! But Raza was the one who had met dad; he might know about something. “I’ll tell Raza,” I finally answered, “but the less that know, probably the better. I have to play this by ear Savio, and I don’t like it.”
Later, after I walked around the whole camp, I found myself at Raza’s tent. It had taken all day to “find” it but I hadn’t really been looking. I had been thinking, about Father Echo, Raza’s encounter, well the whole story really! Something in it didn’t make sense. I wasn’t sure what it was but it was something.
The tent’s flap was pulled aside to show Sabra, Raza’s wife. Her golden skin shimmered in the morning sun. She smiled when she saw me, her dark eyes turning bright. “Rhona, how good to see you! I have to head out for a bit but if you wait inside for a little while I’ll come back quickly.”
Sabra! Why hadn’t I thought of her earlier! Sabra was from the Secret that dad was in! She should know about this kind of magic! Smiling I said, “Sure. Is Raza up? I don’t want to wake him up. He gets cranky when disturbed!” I whispered the last part, just in case Raza was up.
Sabra scrunched her face for the joke and whispered, “Don’t have to tell me! He’s by the fire last I knew.”
We switched places and I walked into the tent. Sure enough, Raza was sitting by the fire, staring. His eyes were unfocused telling me he had been thinking too; though what about I didn’t know. “Hey Raza,” I dared to interrupt. Raza’s head jerked up in surprise, making me smile; it wasn’t every day I could surprise Raza! I sat across from him, keeping the fire between us.
“Hey, you wanna drink?” he asked.
He was a bout to get up before I stopped him, “Naw, I’m good. I just came by to talk to Sabra.”
“I guess you saw her go out?”
I nodded, “Yup, I can wait though. Its not like she’ll be gone for a week!”
Raza huffed, “With her, you never know!”
“Hence the marriage!” I laughed.
“When she gets back I’ll give you two girls some ‘alone’ time,” his fingers came up to parenthesize alone, “Let you talk about dresses or makeup or whatever things girls talk about!”
I laughed again. Raza really wasn’t that naïve. He knew I didn’t ware makeup and Sabra hated dresses (so did I but I’d where one if necessary, Sabra wouldn’t). Sabra wore makeup out of habit; in the Sabrian desert the makeup protected her eyes and skin. I would have to ask her how to put it on.
Wait, why? I wasn’t going into the desert anytime soon… was I? No! I wasn’t! Even if I started looking for the Sabrian Dessert the mountains probably wouldn’t even show me the secret! It was an accident that Raza even found it; why would it be any easier for me? No, I wasn’t going to the Sabrian Dessert quickly. Maybe in the next ten years, before the next Finders Meeting, I might get lucky but that was all I could pray for!
“I’m back!” Sabra’s voice sang from behind me. I jumped and turned, my face shading a deep red. I had lost track of time and the fact that Sabra had entered unnoticed was almost embarrassing! I glanced at Raza and found him quickly covering an expression of suspicion with a welcoming smile. Had I been quiet for too long?
“Right! well, I’ll do as I promised and get the hell out of your girl’s way,” Raza go up, kissing Sabra on his way out. His foot steps quickly faded into the dull roar of the morning crowd. I turned my attention back to Sabra and smiled brightly.
“So, what is it that has you two so somber?” Sabra grabbed a tea pot and placed it over the fire.
“Its that obvious huh?”
“You’d have to be dead not to notice and I’m not talking about the un-dead.”
I shrugged in agreement. I guess I was being a little closed to the world. Oh dammit there I go again! Shaking my head I got back on track. “Sabra, I need your knowledge on magic that comes from your Secret. Dad gave it to me and now I have no idea what the hell I’m doing!” I lifted my shirt and showed the rose tattoo. A frown appeared between her eyebrows and she knelt in front of my stomach. Her thumb came up and rubbed against the rose, forcing goose bumps to rise.
“Your dad gave this to you?” Sabra asked. There was a hint of surprise in her voice but other than that she showed no reaction. The lack of reaction was answer enough.
“Yup. What do you know of it?”
“’What’ not ‘do’?” she raised her eyes to mine briefly then returned her attention back to the rose.
“Your reaction, or lack of it, tells wonders,” I smiled and shrugged. Sabra smiled but didn’t say anything. I waited, playing the patient game with her; I had all the time in the world. Finally Sabra broke and started talking.
“Well yes I know what this is; I’m just surprised that your father knew this kind of magic! He is a very talented man, or so his reputation states. I’ve never met him in person even though he’s my father in law. I never thought he was a true sorcerer. No wonder the vamps left his son alone, they look too much alike.”
I pushed my shirt back down, keeping my hand on my belly button trying to look relaxed.
“Anyway, this spell is known as the Vakt Magisk. It’s kind of a spell of protection but at the same time, not.” My confusion must have showed because she tried to explain. “Okay. Vakt Magisk warns you of magic that is aimed at you. It can be either good magic or bad, it really doesn’t matter to this spell. The Vakt Magisk isn’t rare but it has different pictures on different people. I don’t know why, I never learned.”
“Is there anything else the rose can do? I mean the Vakt Magisk,” I asked, my hand had slipped back under my shirt; I pulled it out, almost in embarrassment.
“It can act as a lie detector and a beacon for other people under the protection the Vakt Magisk. I think it also warns of poison, but I’m not sure. I’ve also heard tell of death detectors. Meaning that if anyone you care about dies you’ll know, no matter how far you are. But once again, that was only gossip. Truthfully, I don’t know much of the Vakt Magisk, only guesses from gossip. I’m sorry Rhona, but you’ll have to learn as you go.”
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Your sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling still need some work, but your story is building nicely. I like the way the thorn given to Rhona turned into a rose tattoo on her stomach when she put her hand there—but put her out of it for all of a day. I was surprised that she did not turn to Raza her brother, but to his wife Sabra to find out just exactly what it was that she had received.
With the powers this rose has, it will be interesting to find out just what Rhona will do with it, and what she will encounter that requires its use.
This story has possibilities.
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that was very good. i liked it alot.
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