Poetry / intrigue (Analysis)
intrigued, one wonders… thinking, seeking the truth. my hand quivers as it embraces, igniting the passion of one..combined, the wonder of two.
my stance, tall and firm…my glance, deep, pounding. embraced, innertwined…head to toe…hands, reaching to the soul. stance is ready, feet running..ready to pounce… still yearning for more.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 95 word review has not been unlocked.
This 42 word review has not been unlocked.
This 63 word review has not been unlocked.
This 196 word review has not been unlocked.
This 61 word review has not been unlocked.
This 12 word review has not been unlocked.
I have to confess that it’s a bit too abstract for me. I understand what you’re describing here, but I found the arbitrary use of ellipses (it seems a lazy way to avoid proper punctuation) distracting. It did, in fact, read as thoughts with no direction, but I didn’t feel like it was poetry. I lost track of what you were talking about around, “embraced, innertwined (I think you mean intertwined?)...head to toe…hands, reaching to the soul.”
I totally lost the image here, because without a grammatical foundation, I had no idea what the subject of that thought was anymore. Also, if your stance is ready, how can your feet be running?
- add/view comments (0)
This 30 word review has not been unlocked.
This version is MUCH better. It does have more direction and is more intriguing than the last.
This 62 word review has not been unlocked.
Showing 1 - 10 of 10
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
| Version 2 | Version 1 (Deleted) |