Poetry / Do I Dare? (Analysis)

This was an interesting peace. I could feel some emotion behind it as I read. I like how the message was a little vague but yet clear.

one question, if the closet may be bare, why fear revealing the skeletons within. (reference to the last 2 lines) anyway, i felt fearful a little myself and wondering at the same time what was hiding that needed to stay hid. good one. LATER

Okay, so I think the best thing for me to do is analyze what this was about, since that’s half the battle with poetry. My impression by the end is that you are talking about a recluse. A person who’s been battered into hermitry (if that’s a word) and is obviously battling for whether or not to let the hurt/pain/insecurities go.

I enjoyed the symbolisms of the house and airing it out inside. The stiffling feeling of being alone. You really had some GREAT images and parallels there. Your poem really breathed the life of who you were portraying and I enjoyed it.

There are too many “the”s in this piece. You could do without them in several places.  The bolted door need?  
I felt the introspection and self awareness.  It gave the feeling of being in the city when you wrote “Yet fresh air can carry with it great burdens
On it travel the voices of those that pass”.  I would like more imagery like this. It makes it more interesting and artistic.  

I could easily connect with the subject. The language is easy and doesn’t get in the way of the content, jet rich enough to create an immediate impression.

I personally would tuck the “inside” one line up behind “ugly”. My impression is that it would be just as strong, maybe even stronger, adding to, or being ore  in line with the simple direct style.  

I’m wondering if it is a bit too long, I personally could do without block 4 (The closet hides…), because that for me is included in the meaning of the others lines, without it having to be mentioned directly.

Good analogy, I liked it. :)

Hi Sweetooth. He i like this just as i like all your work. You have given the reader food for thought. The metaphoric closet is a wonderful idea. We all have skeletons
The closet hides all things feared
The people from the past
The lies they hold
The dreams they broke
The bones tell no tales when unseen

The above stanza seems to be the “meat” of the poem. I always try to find a concrete or center in a work that sums it up. It is also my favorite stanza.
The closet after so long may be bare indeed.
Do I dare reveal the skeletons within

The above stanza might need looking at. If it is bare it won’t have skeletons. I know what you are saying, though.
How about?  Perhaps age has rotted the skeletons leaving the closet bare. Should i open it, anyway. Do i dare? hahahaha. You decide. Your friend Sandi

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July 11, 2008

by Sweettouch

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Thank You Sandi and in rereading it myself I also found a typo lol – it was another off the cuff tonight things and I will rewrite it later – taking into account what you have said – and I will probably change that last a bit. Very nice and concise review. Thank You.

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