Poetry / Mi Corazon (Analysis)

The only suggestion I can give is that since you are rhyming having more of a structure and form to the poem could help it greatly.

Although it was touching and very original, it didn’t quite flow in a few minor sentances.

“I jump of my own free will”
I jump on my own free will or I jump by my free will.

“my love does go”
maybe… My love oh so flows?

I don’t truely know, I’m just making suggestions.

“I follow my heart
down a winding road,
Over hills and valleys
my love does go.”—nice opening.  it sets a nice, wistful tone.  i like it.

“My heart leads me blindly
like through night every day”—i tripped on this phrase.  i think i know what you’re trying to say, that “love is a beacon in the darkness”, but i feel like you’re trying to fit a square peg into a circle here.

“I jump of my own free will.”--you died for love?  i suppose i’d do it too.  and so now i feel that you’re giving yourself up to your maker, your god.  to be able to once more “follow your heart”, i feel a sense of eternal love in heaven, perhaps, or better- in a new, earthly incarnation.  Celestial love is grand, but earthly love is more tangible.  Although i have no real frame of reference.  

I like it.  It’s got a very easy, breezy feel to it.  

Criticisms?  None too many.  Poetry is always open to myriad interpretation.  

Well done. Thanks.