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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Into The Master's Lair - Chapter Ten (Analysis)
Chapter Ten
-1-
Zeke rose from his seat by the hearth when Gertie trudged into the Great Hall with Sheridan slumped over her shoulder. That left only one training pair unaccounted for. He prayed they’d return soon as he walked over to the dwarf woman.
The other party members only watched with grim expressions as Gertie eased Sheridan down on the table nearest the archway. His head lolled to the side revealing a large lump. Jenessa gasped.
“What happened to him?” Zeke asked.
She pulled a cloth from her pocket and mopped her brow. “I don’t understand it. The tunnel was safe, a dwarf’s never wrong about such things. Somehow, the tunnel collapsed. A large piece of it hit him on the head. If I hadn’t heard the rumbling and pulled him out when I did…”
“I understand it,” Zeke said gravely. “It seems every one of the five that came from another world except Lauriana has met with an accident today and as you know she was nearly killed last night.”
“Why aren’t we doing anything? We should go look for them,” Marcus said.
“It’s too early to send out a search party. I am sure Lauriana and Mikell just lost track of time,” Zeke replied.
The air shimmered and the dragon appeared. “The ranger needs to be taught about keeping track of time. I am sure a little singed hair might help his memory.”
“I’m sure that will not be necessary. Don’t dragons have any patience?”
“We have a lot of patience. When you live for a thousand years patience is essential. But when it comes to protecting those we are loyal to it can wear thin. I have a limited amount of time to protect and teach Lauriana. The gods will not allow me to help her after she leaves the Keep. I intend to make full use of the time I have. I will return in a short time. If the ranger has not brought her back by then…” He trailed off as he disappeared.
“You don’t think something has happened to Lauriana, do you?” Jenessa asked. “Maybe that’s why she’s late.”
Zeke held up his hand. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. If she was training in Mikell’s garden then no one could to get to her there.”
Sheridan stirred. “Hey, what is going on?” He jumped off the table, staggered, and sat down.
Zeke examined Sheridan’s injuries. “I will heal you after dinner when I heal the others. A full meal will give your body the energy it needs to aid in the healing. Since you have all survived these attacks, I believe they are meant as warnings.”
“A warning not to help my sister?” Marcus asked.
“Bah,” Sheridan said. “It will take more than a tunnel collapsing on my head to keep me from helping her.”
Jenessa held up her head defiantly. “I’m not about to go back to my world now. Although I think I’d like to switch to casting spells without a wand.” She grinned.
-2-
Lauriana woke up, yawned, and stretched. The sun was nearly down. They were due back at the Great Hall some time ago. Mikell was propped up on one elbow watching her. “We’re late. Why didn’t you wake me?”
He smiled at her. “I thought you could use the sleep. You looked so peaceful lying there I just couldn’t wake you.”
“We better get to the hall before we miss the evening meal.” She jumped up and quickly dressed.
They hurried to the Great Hall. When they arrived, Lauriana could feel all the eyes on her. No wonder. Her clothes were rumpled. Her hair was out of place and she just discovered a leaf in it. Their appearance gave little doubt to why they were late. She felt her face heat up as she hurried to her seat. She began to eat so she wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.
Winnie raised her brow. “Worked up an appetite, did you?”
Lauriana slid lower in her seat and said nothing. Mikell grinned. “I certainly did. I’m starving.”
Jenessa burst out laughing as Marcus scowled. Lauriana felt her face turn a deep red. No one else said a word.
Once her discomfiture eased, her eyes ventured off her plate. She dropped her jaw. The end of Jenessa’s braid looked like it had been scorched. Winnie had a bandage on her face and her wrist was wrapped. Sheridan had a huge bump on his forehead. Marcus looked worn out.
“What happened to you guys?”
“Training didn’t go as planned,” Marcus said. “We had a few accidents.”
Lauriana stared at them. “All four of you?”
Her brothers and cousins nodded. Each of the four took a turn in telling what had happened to them during training.
“Zeke thinks the accidents are related to the man who tried to harm you last night,” Tandril said.
“Why would they want to harm you guys?” Lauriana frowned. “I am the one that has to stop The Master.”
Zeke refilled his wineglass. “I believe it is a warning against helping you with the quest.”
She stared at her brothers and cousins for a few moments. “This is all my fault.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “We haven’t even left the Keep and I have already put all of you in danger. You could’ve been killed because of me.” She jumped up and ran from the room.
Mikell felt a twist in his gut. He hated to see her so upset. Despite Marcus’s glare he stood up to go after her.” Tandril put a hand on Mikell’s shoulder. “Let me go. I’ll talk to her.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
Tandril shrugged. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone your not so close to.”
Mikell watched the elf go and then sat down again. He hoped that Tandril could get through to her. None of this was her fault.
-3-
Lauriana ran until she reached the Rose Garden. She dropped to the bench and stared off into the horizon. The sunset was brilliant with reds, yellows, and purples. Under other circumstances, she’d be in awe, but right now, she hardly noticed. She wiped a tear from her cheek. The scent of roses was over-powering. It was bad enough that she was stuck in this world. Why did her brothers and cousins insist on staying? She’d never forgive herself if anything happened to them. Worst of all, it was her responsibility to make the decisions that would keep them safe.
“What happened today wasn’t your fault,” Tandril said.
She whirled around. “How can you say that? None of them would be here if it wasn’t for me.”
“You can’t choose for them how to live their lives.” He smiled at her with his crooked smile. “And my guess is if the situation was reversed you would never leave your brothers or cousins to complete the quest on their own.”
“That’s true, but—”
“No buts, let your family do for you what you know you would do for them.” He handed her a handkerchief.
She stared at him for long time. She opened her mouth several times, but closed it again each time when she realized the argument she was about to offer wasn’t valid. It was times like these when she hated logic and reason. “When you put it in that light, I guess I can’t argue with you.” She smiled and dried her eyes. “Are you always this good at making people feel better?”
“Some have said I have a special knack for it.” He draped his arm over her shoulders. “Come on. Let’s return to the others.”
-4-
Lauriana and Tandril returned to the hall. Mikell rose and looked at her with concern on his face. She gave him a brief smile and squeezed his hand and he let out an audible sigh and sat back down. Zeke and Ash talked quietly. When they finished Zeke cleared his throat and stood.
“Ash and I have come to a decision. At the end of the next week, when you embark on your journey, we will accompany you. We still cannot help you directly in completing the quest or tell you which path to take, but we can provide some protection and guidance along the way.”
“Why did you change your minds?” Jenessa asked.
“We are still trying to understand the prophecy. We are hoping by starting the journey with you that some of what we read will start to make more sense. I am not sure how long we can accompany you, but we will stay with you as long as we can.”
“Can you tell us what you’ve found out so far?” Lauriana asked.
Zeke paused for a few moments before he answered. “I cannot tell you anything right now. If a problem comes up that you need to know, we will tell you.” He rubbed his chin. “As you know prophecy is difficult to understand at best. At worst it always subject to being altered. People can alter prophecy by trying to make it come true or vice versa. Ash and I have talked about what to reveal to you. We will only reveal to you what is necessary to move forward with the quest.”
Lauriana’s jaw tightened. She didn’t say anything because she knew she couldn’t change the wizard’s mind and that he was doing what he thought was best. But it still made her angry. This was information about what might happen to her. She had every right to know. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what was going to happen. Maybe Zeke was right.
“Lauriana?” Mikell said.
“What?” She had no idea how long he had been calling her name.
He looked concerned. “Are you all right?”
She noticed everyone looking at her. “I’m fine. I was just thinking. I didn’t mean to tune everyone out.”
-5-
Marcus finished his third mug of ale and poured another. The others had left him to fume by himself. Were they all blind? Didn’t they see the smug way the ranger paraded in the hall with his sister in tow? He didn’t even want to think about what they’d been doing. How would he explain this to Ari? Ari had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. Ari had always looked out for him from the time he was ten and Ari was fifteen. Ari had saved him from getting a severe beating from a group of junior high kids. He looked up from his mug and saw Zeke standing in front of him.
“What’s troubling you, my boy?”
Marcus took another drink of ale. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Would this have anything to do with Mikell and your sister?”
“How’d you know?” He narrowed his eyes. “Did you use magic to read my mind?”
He chuckled and sat down across from Marcus “One does not need magic to read minds. It was obvious by the glare you gave Mikell when he and Lauriana arrived late for dinner. You do not hide your anger well. I’m sure everyone in the hall tonight was aware of your feelings.”
“I just don’t like the two of them together. She has no idea what she’s getting into, but she won’t listen to me.”
“I have talked to your sister and she knows what she’s getting into. She is not naïve, nor is she is she moving ahead with blinders on. Mikell is a good and honorable man. He would just as soon die than hurt that girl.”
“This must be stopped!” Marcus slammed his mug of ale down on the table causing ale to splash over the sides. “She doesn’t need him. She already has someone. She belongs with Ari.”
“I see.” Zeke scratched his head. “I did not want to tell you this but you leave me no choice. Please do not breathe a word of this to anyone. The consequences could be dire. The prophecy says the fate of the world will rely on the union of the worthy heir of Zotara and a king who renounces his title.”
Marcus gaped. “Lauriana and Mikell.”
“So you see if they do not stay together, the world could be lost to darkness.”
“Why don’t you just tell them that?”
“Because, it is exactly the kind of pressure that could drive them apart.” Zeke stroked his beard. “Would you feel comfortable being with someone if you were told that you had to stay with that person to save the world? Right now, they are together because they want to be, because they are in love with each other. They are happy despite what they are facing. Would you want to take that away from your sister?”
Marcus let out a big sigh. “No I wouldn’t do that. I want her to be happy.”
“Right now it is Mikell who is making her happy. If you are not convinced, think about Dagreth. The only reason he allows her to spend so much time with Mikell is because he makes her happy. If Dagreth thought Mikell was going to hurt her, he’d burn him to a crisp.”
“I guess you’re right. I still don’t feel comfortable with it, but I won’t interfere.”
“Good choice.” Zeke slapped him on the back.
Marcus watched the wizard go. He said he wouldn’t interfere and he’d keep his word. But he still believed his sister belonged with Ari. He’d take every opportunity to remind her of that.
-6-
Mikell watched Lauriana pacing, her brow furrowed. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear him enter their room. He stopped behind her and put his arms around her waist. She moaned softly as he kissed her neck and breathed in her scent.
“Mmmm. Have you devised a brilliant plan yet?”
She pulled away from him. “No, I have not. I swear it would’ve been much easier if I didn’t know that ‘prophecy foretold’ that I’d have a plan. I feel so pressured I can’t think straight. Where are all these prophets anyway? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind.”
Mikell sat on the bed. “At least you don’t have to be concerned about everyone finding out about us now. After the way we came late to dinner, I’m sure there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind.”
She blushed. “I thought Marcus’s head was going to explode when he figured out why we were late.” She couldn’t help but giggle. She sat down next to Mikell. “I am still embarrassed.”
Mikell looked at her. “It’s okay, you look beautiful in that shade of red.”
The smile fell away from her face. “You know there’s another reason why Marcus doesn’t like you.”
“You mean besides the fact that I’m taking advantage of his innocent little sister?”
Lauriana nodded. “Ari’s his best friend.” Her fingers grazed her necklace. Pain filled her eyes.
He knew she was upset about Ari. As much as it killed him, he also knew there was nothing he could do or say to ease her pain. He put his hand on her upper back. “You’re tense. Why don’t you lie down and let me work the knots out of your back?”
She laid down and Mikell ran his hands over her upper back. He wished he could take away her guilt and pain. He felt guilty knowing that Ari would be hurt by his actions. But then Ari was the one who would win in the end. She moaned as her muscles loosened. If they completed the quest, she’d go home to Ari. If the man was smart and truly understood what he had in her, how extraordinary she was, he’d forgive her and take her back in an instant.
Her breathing deepened and became rhythmic. He covered her with a blanket and slipped out of the room.
-7-
Marcus looked up from his drink when he heard footsteps. Great, the last person he wanted to see.
“I didn’t know there was anyone in here. I’ll come back later.” Mikell turned to leave the hall.
“No. You don’t have to go.” Marcus pushed a mug forward. “Do you want a drink?”
“Sure, I could go for one.” Mikell sat down across from Marcus.
“I thought you’d be spending the whole evening with my sister.” Marcus poured a drink for Mikell. “Doesn’t seem like you spend much time apart. I hope this doesn’t mean that she’s unguarded.”
“She’s sleeping. Dagreth is keeping watch outside her window. There’s not much that can get past Dagreth. I can’t think of any better guard than an overprotective dragon.” He took a drink of ale.
“I suppose not.”
Mikell locked eyes with Marcus. “What is it going to take to allay your concerns about your sister and me?”
He furrowed his brow and then frowned. “Just give me your word that you’ll never hurt her and that if the time comes that she’s better off without you, you’ll let her go.”
“I can agree to that, but it will be Lauriana who decides when or if she would be better off without me. I can assure you that I will always have her best interests at heart. I don’t care what any prophecy says.”
“Meaning?” Marcus refilled their glasses.
“Meaning, that if I feel that something preordained by prophecy is too risky or would be harmful to Lauriana, I’ll put a stop to it.”
Marcus finally smiled. “I think we’ve reached an understanding.”
The two men moved over by the hearth and became better acquainted over a few more pints of ale. Mikell told Marcus stories about some of the quests he’d been on. Marcus told him stories about his sister growing up.
“You know,” Mikell took a drink of ale and leaned back in his chair, “we are both going to have to realize that Lauriana has to make her own decisions. I think we are both used to being in charge and having our own way. We can try to influence her, but you know better than I do, that she’s strong willed and won’t need or ask for our approval.”
“You got that right. Come to think of it, I’ve tried many times over the years to change her mind about something and it’s rarely ever happened.”
Mikell took another drink of ale and then set the mug down. “Don’t get me wrong, the fact that she is strong willed, so determined, and steadfast are some of the reasons I admire your sister so much.”
Marcus began to relax. He would never admit it, but he was beginning to see how much respect and love this man had for his sister. Still, she belonged with Ari. He didn’t like the idea that Ari was going to be hurt. He knew how much Ari loved his sister.
Mikell and Lauriana were from different worlds. What would happen when this quest was over? Would Mikell try to stop her from going home were she belongs? He also understood that it was senseless to dwell on what the future might bring.
After all, you can never even begin to guess what might happen in the future. Being here in this world proved it. In his wildest dreams he wouldn’t have ever believed that any of this was possible.
-8-
The Master stood next to the bed and tenderly stroked her cheek. Lauriana stirred in her sleep. He smirked. Zeke was a foolish old wizard, indeed, if he really thought he could keep The Master from the girl. Zeke could prevent him from taking her from the Keep. He couldn’t however, stop him from seeing her while she was asleep.
He reached into his robes and pulled a pair of blue silk panties and brought them to his nose. He inhaled deeply. This was the item Caspian had retrieved for him, this was the item that allowed The Master to visit Lauriana in her dreams whenever he wished. It was a simple spell and only required an intimate item from the subject.
He returned the panties to his pocket as Lauriana began to toss and turn. He hadn’t revealed himself to her yet, but soon it would be time for them to meet. He could hardly wait. What was it about this woman that was beginning to intrigue him? He must find out.
-9-
Lauriana opened her eyes. She couldn’t remember what she was dreaming about, but it left her unsettled. She groaned as she sat up. The pain in her ribs was back and it was getting worse. Maybe she should’ve told someone. No, they would’ve made a big deal out of it. She tried to walk it off and wandered down to the Great Hall. When she spotted her brother and Mikell together, Lauriana rushed over.
“Are you two fighting?”
Mikell smiled at her concern. “On the contrary we’ve reached an understanding.”
She looked from one man to the other. “You have?”
“Yes.” Marcus gave her a nod.
“It’s about time.” She felt a sudden sharp pain in her ribs. Her knees buckled. Mikell sprang to his feet and caught her.
“Are you all right?”
“It’s my ribs… a jabbing pain. Can’t catch … my breath.”
“Marcus, get Zeke and Ash. Check the study. I’m going to take her back to bed.”
He picked Lauriana up and carried her back to bed. She tried to put up a protest, but discovered she was too tired.
Mikell waited with Marcus in the hallway. He stopped pacing and looked up when he heard the door open.
Zeke stepped out of the room. “That young lady has cracked ribs. Why wasn’t I informed?”
“She fell earlier this week.” Mikell shook his head. “But the fall was hardly enough to crack her ribs. She said she was fine.”
“She fell and hurt herself before we left our world,” Marcus said. “She said that her injuries were healed in the portal.”
Zeke nodded. “That explains it. She was only partially healed in portal. I had to finish the healing. All she needs now is rest.”
Ash came out of the room and shut the door behind her. “That child be exhausted. She is under a lot of strain and it’s beginning to take its toll. She says she not be sleeping much. What she needs right now be a day or two of rest.” She eyed Mikell. “And I expect you to see that she gets it. She would like to see you now. I gave her a potion to help her sleep so she may be feeling a little woozy, but it be nothing to worry about.” Ash turned to leave, took a few steps, and then turned back. She fixed a piercing gaze on Marcus and Mikell. “One other thing, do not do or say anything to upset her.”
-10-
“How are you feeling?” Mikell brushed a lock of hair out of Lauriana’s face.
“A little strange. But I think it’s from the potion Ash made me drink. I swear she has a potion for everything in that pouch she wears around her waist.” She was quiet for a moment. “You don’t need to be concerned about me.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” He stroked her hair. “Why didn’t you tell anyone that you haven’t been sleeping?”
She shrugged. “In light of everything else that’s going on, it just didn’t seem important.” The corners of her lips turned up slightly. “I’ve been sleeping a little better since you moved in here.”
“All of this has been harder on you than I realized. I’m sorry. Sometimes I just forget you’re from another world. This all must be so overwhelming for you. Any person from this world would find this situation stressful, let alone from another. I find it amazing you are doing as well as you are.”
“I’m fine.” Her eyelids were starting to droop.
“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”
Lauriana gave him a small smile. “Maybe not, but if you worked at it you could get it out of me. I’d never lie to you.”
“Just as I thought. I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you. For now, you need to get some sleep. Is there anything you need?”
“Just hold me while I go to sleep.”
Once he slipped his arms around her, she was asleep in seconds. Mikell held her and watched her sleep. He watched as her chest rose and fell in an even rhythm. He felt her breath softly brush his cheek. Her eyelids fluttered as she began to dream. He studied her delicate, yet strong features as if he hadn’t already committed them to memory. Her lips parted as she mumbled something in her sleep. His heart hammered in his chest. His head was spinning. All this was new to him. Even though he had dreamed of her for so many years and had fallen in love with her, he had no idea it would feel so incredible yet confusing to have her. He never thought he’d be so lucky to find the woman from his dreams. She was by far more enchanting than he ever could have imagined.
His mind raced to the future. He stopped himself. He had enough to focus on in the present. He could control little of what the future brought. He couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving one day to go back to her world, but he didn’t think she’d stay with him in his. He knew he’d have no place in her world.
He decided not to let those thoughts ruin what he had in the present. He intended to enjoy and cherish every moment he had with her for however long that may be. As he watched her sleeping, he thought she looked more beautiful to him every day. Mikell closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
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meowby reviewed Version 1 -
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Well written and intriguing. There are a few things I would change:
1.Once her discomfiture eased, her eyes….(I would change discomfiture to discomfort. It’s easier to understand IMO.)
2.She is not naïve, nor is she is she moving ahead…(Repeated yourself in this one)
3.(these three sentence about Ari should be brought together in just one or two sentences): Still, she belonged with Ari. He didn’t like the idea that Ari was going to be hurt. He knew how much Ari loved his sister.
I’ve read earlier chapters and have liked the story so far. Keep up the good work!
CAT
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Dexus reviewed Version 1 -
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Another exciting chapter. The Master’s servant’s task revealed with a twist on how her dreams might become dangerous. I like these developments :)
”...large piece of it…”—It’s probably just me but I don’t like “it” very much. Might be just as well to say “large piece of the tunnel” or “a large rock”
”...accident today and as you know she…”—either comma after today, or (my preference) commas after “and” & “know”
”...no one could to get to her…”—typo ;p
“Tandril shrugged. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone your not so close to.’”—you’re
”...was about to offer…” -- active voice: almost offered -or- nearly offered
“Some have said…”—Again Tandril is implying the importance of others’ opinions of his abilities. You said he is an unusual elf, though, so this might work for you :)
“starting journey” – “start to make sense” —two starts ;p
”...nor is she is she…”—typo ;p
“This was the item Caspian had retrieved for him, this was the item that allowed The Master to visit Lauriana in her dreams whenever he wished.”—Consider two sentences? Start second sentence with the 2nd “This was the item” ??
I only mentioned the comma placements that jumped out at me, though I think I saw a few more and was just too enthralled in the plot to jot them down.
I’m curious what roles Marcus and Mikell will play in the Quest, or if either of them will screw something up. I smell trouble there ;p
Well done! :)
I like how Mikell and Marcus found an understanding. Their bonding scene might be a bit too short. I wondered about the stories they told and what else they might say to make their understanding of each other, their bond, greater. Otherwise it seems to happen too fast.
“As he watched her sleeping, he thought she looked more beautiful to him every day.”—I can see the point made here, but I think it could be worded differently. It seems strange that he would suddenly think she looked more beautiful “every day” for how long they’d been together. Maybe instead of “he thought” you could say “he remembered how” ??
Angelray reviewed Version 1 -
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would like maybe an example or two of the stories Mikell and marcus discussed while bonding.On page eight where Zeke is talking to Marcus and he is getting ready to leave he is shown as slapping marcus on the back. The words that he speaks and they way he is portrayed to act did not fit together with this image for me. I pictured him pating his back or squeezing a shoulder..more of a serious fatherly or mentor type rather than a buddy.
kinhasu reviewed Version 1 -
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I really love your stories… keep up the good work!!
Supernatural1 reviewed Version 1 -
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i think you have a great story here!!! i totally felt like i was in a different realm. the characters spoke differently, yet they still appeared human. i love the dragon. i laughed at his/her character (i’m not sure if it’s a male or female). the only thing that bugged me were the various times you confused your/you’re and were/where. i don’t remember what pages they were on, but that’s the only thing i could find that really bothered me.
otherwise, great job!!!
DresdenCarter reviewed Version 1 -
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Mistakes:
‘Mikell felt a twist in his gut….Despite…go after her”’ – You have a quote mark that shouldn’t be there.
‘As you know the prophecy is difficult to [understand at best. At worst it]...’ – Change the sentence fragment.
Overall cool.
I give it a 6/10.
Good luck man.
muca reviewed Version 1 -
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very discriptive! this is defenetally a unique story. i especially liked how Lauriana gazes at the sunset and how you show how her and all the other’s minds works. as a reader, that is important in a story and i thank you.
sweetchariot reviewed Version 1 -
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I thought this chapter was generally well-written and intriguing. I’m no expert of sci-fi and fantasy literature, but am always interested in new types of literature.
I thought this chapter was insightful, humorous at times, and overall a good read. I look forward to the next chapter, also to going back to the past 9 chapters.
trouten_m reviewed Version 1 -
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Into the Master’s Lair is sounding like it’ll be a very good book. Very sound, plot-wise. The dialogue is good. I could wish that Caspian and The Master hadn’t chosen quite so intimate an object; but, then again, it lends more toward their characters. Best of luck. I may miss most of the chapters here on Urbis, but I look forward to reading the finished book. —Mandy
Lauriana ran until she reached the Rose Garden. She dropped to the bench and stared off into the horizon. —These 2 sentences would sound much better if rolled into one. When writing, its always a good idea to avoid sounding too “fact by fact”
Typo: nor is she is she moving ahead—“is she” is typed twice
Typo: from going home were she—“were” should be “where”
He couldn’t however, stop him from…—should also be a comma before “however”
common_theory reviewed Version 1 -
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I just review “Into The Master’s Lair” – Chapter one to Ten. This story was very interesting and very fantasy oriented. I found Zeke to be the most intricate character, though i am sure thats what the writer was going for. I would have to say my favorite character was Ash. I found her to be the most realistic of all characters. She brought a good element to the story. Each character was different but yet the some in some ways. All of these characters together gave the proper balance and made the story what it was. Great story line and great fantasy writing. great job
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