Poetry / At The Zoo

It’s different being at the zoo when you’re older.
You have a better understanding of life and
   conditions and the illusion of freedom and
   the faking of well-being.

The largest of the gorillas posed for our pictures.
The elephants threw dust on their great, broad backs.
The giraffes stretched their necks up to leafy branches.
The snakes lay behind glass looking bored or lazy or dead.
I wondered if anyone ever checked on them,
   going around poking to make sure they’re okay.
That would be a good job for me, I seem to
   do that most days anyways.

We saw one side of the zebras, brilliant
   black and white against the grass-scape.
After walking around for a bit we saw
   the other side of the zebras, just as brilliant
   black and white against the grass-scape.
They may look the same but no two are alike.
They are like snowflakes, the same as us.
And as I stood next to you, feeding the birds,
   I knew that with one warm touch
I would melt.

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rickmillen avatar General Friend

June 27, 2008

rickmillen

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rickmillen reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Pleasant piece. The author displays talent for ‘showing’the reader, instead of ‘telling’. I still see the snakes “behind glass, looking bored or lazy or dead.” The word ‘lay’ in that sentence should be ‘lie’. The author wonders if anyone checks on the snakes to make sure they’re okay, and feels it would be a good job for herself, since she seems to do that most days anyway--‘Anyway’ does not need to be pluralized--hilarious! I like the way she points out there are no two zebras alike, “like snowflakes, the same as us.” Then juxtaposes that with her feeling for her companion, ”...one warm touch…” would melt her. Good descriptions of the other animals at the zoo, also—gorillas posing for pictures, elephants throwing dust on their backs, giraffes stretching their necks into tree branches, and snakes that seem bored, lazy, or dead. One feels as though one has actually gone to the zoo, with just a hint of romance. Good stuff. Very enjoyable.

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Age: 25
Loc: Denton, TX
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Last Login: August 17
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