Poetry / Untitled (Undressing You)

I’m sure this was great more structured, but I think I like it much better this way.  It’s got a stream of consciousness vibe that I’ve always had a hard time achieving in a believable way.  And I’ve had an experience like the one described in the piece, so I certainly feel connected.  This style is generally not my favorite, but I really like this.  Great job, overall.  :-)

I like this a lot. “it felt like seeing colors for the first time” might be better as ‘it was like’, instead of “it felt like”. Good phrases throughout, “seeing colors for the first time”, lost “somewhere between a heart beat and a lifetime”, though “a hundred shades of silence” seems awkward.I especially liked the conclusion of the matter, that the idea of being with the person is missed more than the person himself. An excellent description of lost love.