Poetry / Moon thoughts (Analysis)

I quite enjoyed this poem.  Although it had no true rhyming sceme.  I liked the imagery that unfoled as I read on good jod and keep up the good work. Delicsous I could taste the sweetness.  I gave you an 8 because I belive if you added even I rhyming sequence It would have made your poem come more to life.

Phrases such as “rain wet lips” encite the senses, especially when aligned with the image of strawberries, which I imagine are pert and dewy. Such (possibly subconscious) parallels are worth exploring by moonlight indeed.

This poem speaks physical languages. I feel it in my fibres rather than the folds of my brain. Intuition remains when reason flees, and is rooted at a deeper place.

Placing the desire for fulfillment in something intangible beyond oneself raises questions of hope, faith and one’s role in destiny.

Perception speaks more to the perceiver than that which is perceived. Good writing accepts and makes space for this. I thank you for this non-presumptuous invitation to alternate methods of imagining.

Beautiful, beautiful imagery, and metaphors as well. It almost sounds like a story. It was a little short (for my taste), but it was still a great piece to read, and I really enjoyed reading it.

Nice wa to describe the moon, makes me think of strawberries :)

nice description. i liked how your poem flowed. and the way you talk about everything. it was good. describing how a strawberry taste in the moon was good. good job. :)

ahh do I have a dirty mind or is this about sex? Anyways very arousing. I apologize if I got it all wrong.

Very good poem, and I loved the “rain wet lips”, I don’t know why but that stuck with the most.  I think your poem is unique and could easily be published sometime.

Its nice. I like it.  I can;t think of anything tio critique save perhaps, “I can almost hear a humming in my head.” A bit proselike maybe, could be better?

I like the image of “strawberry moon”. It is a comparison that I have never heard before, although I can picture it in my mind.

Over all the poem is nice. Sweet. (Like a strawberry perhaps…) Play around with the form of the poem. Sentence lengths and positioning. See what you can do. It is okay as-is, however I feel you might be able to pull a bit more punch out of it if you play a bit.

WOW… I LOVE IT’S DEEPNESS… HIGHLIGHTED BY YET, IT’S SIMPLICITY. IT TAKES YOU THERE. RIGHT THERE… IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS THICK AND DELICIOUS PORTRAIT OF WRITTEN DESIRE. A GREAT WRITE. I APPLAUD YOU.

                                           NATUREBOOY52