Poetry / Wishing Well (Analysis)
Her life is rich, though not in wealth
Her family strong, she has her health
Just thirteen years have passed her by
Yet naught has happened that made her cry
Though blessed by much, she is often mocked
A barbie girl with golden locks
To all the world she has it made
Athletic and pretty, above her grade
Yet, deep inside her heart is pained
This teenage angst is unexplained
The more they say she should be grateful
The more she dwells on thoughts so hateful
When she was small it was so pure
Love was easy, God was sure
Now even though there is no strife
She’s bound to add some to her life
Deny the love, deny the light
Fester the attitude that dwells in spite
Seek out the drama and boys who entice
Reject concern and good advice
I know it well, for it was I
who lived to feel, I can’t deny
That pain that makes you feel alive
To rebel, resist, coerce and connive
I struggled for freedom and fought for friends
Kissed up through the week to go out on weekends
Looking back on my youth it is certainly clear
I took several wrong turns that lead to here
This life, this day, this place where I stand
Is nothing resembling the future I planned
Along the way, I got off track
I swept along with no turning back
This morning I tried to explain what I mean
But her perspective is that of a stubborn teen
Her eyes rolled in her head and she let out a sigh
At the end though she heard me and started to cry
I related this lesson I learned from my past
In a game, the first minute is as crucial as the last
At the crossroads of choosing a treacherous path
Your future is waiting to suffer your wrath
She knows what I’ve suffered and all at my hand
She sees how I struggle and manage to stand
She resents that I’m traveling this road in this way
But is bound to repeat it if she ignores what I say
I beg her to focus and don’t go astray
A choice made in haste just might haunt you someday
Once a ball set in motion starts rolling downhill
It’s force is a destiny it has to fulfill.
There’ll be lechers and leaches and theives at your back
You’ll be lonely and tired and on the attack
When you’re weak, don’t be willing to throw it away
When you’re strong, just remember that powerful day
When it hurts, bear it well, you will get through the pain
When you’re mad, wait a minute before acting in vain
When you’re lonely, realize that you’re not alone in that thought
Find a friend in another lonely person distraught
Lean on me, tell me anything, I love you regardless
I want you to be careful, but still try to be fearless
Have lofty goals set so high that you can reach any star
Explore the world, but don’t change the person that you are”
MAKS 6/6/08
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 62 word review has not been unlocked.
Oh My Fried Goldfish this was awesome You’re rhyme scheme was well thought out and flowed very fluently it explained some of the pressures that females have to face (right) I didn’t find anything wrong with it. it was totally awesomeit sounds like some people I know Keep up the awesome work
- add/view comments (1)
i put down a five for poetry because i think that it’s more in between lyrics and poetry. I love this though it’s really good the best i’ve read in a while.
I enjoyed the flow of your expressions and inner thoughts you shared with out hesitation and clear explanation. Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts from the heart. Clark
This was a very good poem. It describes the lessons we’ve learned in life, and how we pass them on. It flowed very well. Sometimes in long poems they don’t always, but this one did. There are a few grammatical and spelling errors that need to be cleaned up, but other than that great read. You are very good at rhyming! Best of luck…
Oh bless this poem it’s truth so real! you did a fabulous job illustrating this normal life struggle. Any woman can relate in some way to your words. My applause.
I enjoyed the flow to this poem. And the message is something most could relate to. I myself almost repeated my own moms past mistakes. Good writing!
This is a nice poem. The imagery is good and the clarity is okay as well. I think that the clarity could be better with just a little work. I might focus more on the actual things that happened rather that just clever quotes. This, I think would also make the imagery much better than it is, although it is good.
I love this poem! It will be the first poem I put in my favorites! Its a bit cheesy however, but the message is loud and clear. I’m still young and I know the feeling in the beginning-and I learned something from your poem. Thanks. I give much kudos! The lines are really like are, “I struggled for freedom and fought for friends Kissed up through the week to go out on weekends” and the last stanza. Good Job!!
I liked the way it ran, like a mother talking to her daughter telling how she once was. You should get this published.
Showing 1 - 10 of 12
Next →
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
